My World Is Always Upside Down
by cupcakekiller12
Summary: A promise to keep, a secret to withhold, a love to never feel, Sammie Park has all of those things. When her world is turned on it's axis she faces problems from the past and new ones occurring daily. With new pressures and responsibilities-will she become great and known or will she succumb to her inner demons and become the thing she fears the most?
1. Lightning Does Strike Twice

_**Hey guys! Welcome to a new story. Of course credit goes where credit is needed. I don't own The Flash or anything related to The Flash. I also don't own Arrow or anything related to Arrow. But I do own my O.C(s).  
>So I hope you like it. Sit back...relax...and enjoy the read-cupcakekiller12<br>**_

Ok…my name is Samantha Park-most people call me Sam or Sammie-I used to be normal like you-had a good life-nice friends-great job that I actually enjoyed to go to…but I'm getting ahead of myself first we have to begin where it all started…

An unfortunate disaster,

**ZZZZZZZZ**

I was awoken by loud police sirens and zooming engines of the ambulances rushing to the scene. Drowsily I sat up and rubbed the tiredness out of my eyes, _what is going on_? I didn't think that the police come out this late.

The sound didn't fade away like it always did, it continued blaring in my ears-geez don't they know some people are trying sleep?

Curiosity took over my tired body as my feet found my fuzzy bunny slippers; I found my way to the single window in my bedroom where the sound was coming from.

What I saw-I almost couldn't comprehend…it was the Allen's house…what happened at the Allen's house? I-it can be bad can it?

Looking back at my door a part of me wanted to go see how awful it was, another told me to just go back to bed and pretend that this never happened…but I knew I couldn't. I had to go and figure out what occurred down.

For moral support I brother my sock monkey, Moro, he's always there for me. Through thick and through thin, nothing could replace him.

Quietly I tiptoed out of my room and down the oak stairs, if mom and dad caught me I'd be grounded for life. Not to mention they'd lock my door from the outside.

The police officers muted their sirens after a few minutes, but the sound still seemed to echo in my ears. Like as if it were bouncing off the sides of my skull infinitely-never to end.

My legs had a mind of their own as I walked to the yellow caution tape. A black shiny bag laid before me, a mourning boy knelt down next to still in shock. His hands shaking as clear tears rolled down his face, "M-mom…"  
>Barry…<p>

No police officer stopped me, so I continued going as I clutched Moro for dear life. Nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to see, and I couldn't do anything to make it better. Everything seemed to happen in a blur that night I heard a lot of voices, a lot of crying and yelling. All I really remember was waking up the next morning-hoping that it was just a dream-a nightmare-but looking out the window I felt my heart drop into my stomach-the crime tape was still there and the forensic people were now there investigating…

…he must be devastated…oh if only there was something that I could do.

Wait a minute…

**Time skippdy…**

Walking back from school I saw a boy with dark brown hair combed to the side, his face was solemn and darkened, his baby blue eyes carried a certain sadness, he looked down at feet taking each step slowly and precisely, that must be Barry. We weren't very close, sure we lived across the street from each other-but we never talked-I'd walk on the other side of the street from him. Back before his mom died, I never really bothered to get to know him…but now-I just need to. I need to get to know him-I want to be around him. He just seems so down-he just needs a little pick me up you know?  
>Speeding up my pace I found my way right next to him. Barry didn't even notice my presence, his gaze was locked on the ground, so I guess I have to break the ice, "Hey,"<br>As if a switch were triggered the boy looked at me, but then broke our eye lock, "Hi,"  
>"What's up?" I wondered never looking away. I studied his face, and the sadness in his physically features.<p>

Barry shrugged but gave no reply as he stared at the boring dull white color of the sidewalk, "What's that supposed to mean?"  
>Again his mourning eyes met mine but yet again no words were said.<p>

"Come on Barry," I cooed as I bumped into him playfully, in doing so the strap of his backpack fell loose and without even scorning me he placed it back on his shoulder.

"I heard about your dad." I informed and at those words his whole body went stiff and he finally replied to me.

"He didn't do it!" Barry stated with tone full of conviction, "He didn't kill her! A guy in lighting did it! But they won't believe me! Nobody believes me…"  
>"I do," I informed.<p>

Suddenly he stopped and looked at me and cocked his head, "Y-you do?"  
>"Of course," I assured with a smile, "That's what friends are for,"<br>"We're friends," the blue eyed child repeated confused.

I nodded, "Why wouldn't we be?"  
>"I-I don't even know your name…" he confessed as scratched his head.<p>

Sticking out my hand I stated my answer, "Sammie Park,"  
>Hesitantly Barry shook it, and looked to our left-his look went from calm to annoyed but yet fear marked his delicate face, "Here they come…"<br>I chuckled and grasped his warm comforting hand, "Then I guess we better run fast then."

Ever since that moment I've been running, I've been racing to keep up with Barry. I've been sprinting to keep up with his pace. And it seems…the race to keep up with Barry will never stop-because I'll always be chasing him…from now till the end of time.  
><strong>Present<strong>

I stared at my dress choices that were neatly placed all on my made bed.

There's the summer peach dress that I wore a few days ago-so that's out.  
>Then there is the knee length floral patterned skirt, the background color was brown-I found it very flirty and comfortable. With it I pared black legging that go to my ankle and with that I wear my black and white converse that I bought last week. The shirt is mainly white but the long sleeves are black.<br>Finally there is a white button up dress shirt with a long sleeved navy blue sweater. I could wear black skinny jeans with those and nice shiny black boots-but that's too Barry-he'd notice that. I don't want to be too flirty and I don't want it to look like I was copying him. I just want him to look at me-I want him to look at me the way I look at him.  
>Oh what should I do?<br>What will make him look at me-but not look at me weirdly?

After contemplating a series of options I finally chose the second choice…now for make up.

I won't even say how long that took-but after many wasted minutes-I finally was ready for. I was ready to see Barry-I was ready to go to work.

**ZZZZZ**

I earned all the eyes of the police crew, but those weren't the eyes I was hoping for-I honestly didn't care what they were looking at, my boobs or my butt, their attention didn't even faze me. There was only one man's opinion that I care about-only one person can make me insecure. Only one person that I've ever met makes me do crazy stupid things for love…

"Sammie," one of the officers greeted.

"Bert," I acknowledged.

Running up the wooden stairs I entered a warehouse type of environment, glass test tubes and lab equipment filled with various colored liquids filled the shelves that took up some of the empty space. Most of them didn't even have names-they were just placed there and we haven't had the time to come back to them. Right us…

Looking over at the computer station a young man sat their, his dark brown hair combed over, showing off his beautiful crystal blue eyes. He wears neat formal clothing that made him look official-yet timeless and handsome. Those azure eyes found my gaze and a perfect white smile shined, "Hey Sammie,"  
>His words made me melt, his soft, calm, kind stature made my walls crumble down. His amazing personality just made me got into a trance. Every where he goes the sun shines, my hope and foolish dreams follow. Truth be told he is the highlight of my day, he makes me smile and laugh, he's just…perfect.<p>

"Hey Barry," I replied as my heart fluttered just looking at him.

Placing my purse down on the other side of the desk I steal a look at his perfectly sculpted face, I must've been doing that for a little while because Barry looked at me, "Are you ok?"  
>"Yeah-why wouldn't I be?" I shrugged, "What case did you get this time?"<br>"Bank robbery," he replied in an interested tone, "Right now I am tracking manure,"

"Manure," I repeated back, "Need help with that?"  
>"Nope," Barry instantly replied as he tapped a key.<p>

Shrugging it off, I started my music and got lost in the sound.

**ZZZZZZ**

"So are you coming to S.T.A.R. labs with me and Iris?" Barry wondered.

Iris, the name sent venomous jealousy through me. She is the woman Barry is in love with. The way he looks at her so dreamily and adoringly, he's been in love with her for as long as I can remember…but she doesn't love him the way he does. Iris looks at him like a brother, she thinks of him as a close friend-but nothing more then that. I wish he could see it-I wish he could see me. I wish he could look at me with eyes he looks at her with. I wish and wish… but it never comes true.

"Na," I replied, "I kind of like to put some distance in between me and a potentially dangerous or deadly object."  
>He chuckled, "Ok, see you later."<br>"See yah,"

When he left the whole room felt lifeless and boring, it was meaningless and dull. Without Barry I didn't want to be here. He's so lively and smart-he makes the most boring case seem interesting. Is it bad I already miss him?  
>Sitting there I stared at my computer screen which was filled with files and an endless pit of crime scene photos that could make any other job seem great. This is what I live for-murder and crime. I live to solve to the mysteries that killers leave behind. I piece together the puzzle that is left for me, and the only reason why I do it is because I made a promise to my friend I'd follow him every step of the way.<p>

I'm not saying I haven't had fun-and I'm not saying that this job isn't enjoyable-in fact I love this job. I love solving cases, I love finding redemption for people who can do it themselves-it's rewarding seeing the smiles of the parents who can finally put their child's killer away for good.

But I'm going to be honest-I wouldn't have chosen this as my first profession. Maybe teaching or something with computers-something to keep me entertained.

The one thing I've learned from being here though is patience-rushing things only makes everything worse. I learned that the hard way on one of my first cases-I thought I could have everything done fast and easy-but thanks to my newbie mistakes-the case took a month to complete and three more innocent kids died. Now I know better though and I get killers off the streets and get the answer that all people want…why were they killed?  
>Anyway, I don't know how long I sat there just plugging in numbers and searching for places that would hopefully help with the investigations I am working on.<p>

It was at the moment I heard steps coming up from the staircase, are they back already? I didn't think that the particle accelerator came on that fast. Machinery that complex has to come on gradually and very, very carefully. Having it go on all at once will end in a catastrophic event, I can't imagine what would happen if that went wrong. Can you think of how many people will be killed-how many people will be injured-oh lets just hope and pray it won't go south.

A depressed sigh echoed in the room as the small T.V was turned on beside me, "I have just received word that the particle accelerator has just gone array. The officials are trying to shut it down-but it seems that all efforts on attempting to turn off the machine are failing."  
>God damn it<p>

The storm must've gotten to it-oh why can't scientist ever listen to reason? Why can't they just ever look outside and say 'oh today looks bad to set off a particle accelerator."  
>Looking over I saw Barry-wide eyed at the news given to him, I was a baffled as he was. We both expected the particle accelerator to succeeded, I was just joking about it being dangerous-even though it sorta is. The only reason why I didn't go is because Iris was there and to be honest I don't want to see Barry making those googly eyes are her.<p>

"That's not good," I muttered to myself as I stood up.

The rain pounded on the flimsy glass above us, that isn't going to stay up there for very long.

Without even consulting each other Barry and I headed over to where the long chain was, at first we both pulled together on the heavy load but then-the impossible happened.

All the multicolored liquids started floating; they engulfed the air-levitating before us. The sight was mystifying, so this is what Barry talked about. The day his mother died-this happened. It's true-it's all true. Something did happen on that night-something unexplainable. Something not even science can explain. We both stood there frozen as our eyes were glued to the floating liquids.

Then without warning the glass broke, I covered my eyes as sharp glass points and cold ice water poured down onto us. I thought that, that was that…but I was wrong.

A bright white flash blinded me, it came down struck us both, the sensation was like electricity-I could feel it running through my veins like horses let out to race. I could feel the pain like fire had engulfed my whole body. My mind slowed down, I no longer had control of my own body. My arms my legs, everything was frozen ice solid. Barry and I fell together and as I feel I felt the light from the room disappear, as my thoughts drifted from me and I was set afloat into a never ending darkness.

**OOOOOO**

The first thing I remember feeling is a thin blanket placed halfway across my body, I feel a rubber tube on my face pouring in thick air forcing me to breath it in. The whole world is blurry; it's just a blob of many colors. There are feint distant sounds that I can barely hear, maybe its music? Maybe it's someone talking? I can't tell…it sounds familiar…yet I can't place a finger on it.

After blinking away my blindness I could see the world for what it truly is…and then as is a switch were trigger everything came back at once. All in a flash-I can move, I can think clearly, I can hear and see everything like as if it were on T.V. Quickly I ripping off the clear tube I sat up trying to figure out where I was.

I don't know where I am. I don't how I got here. Who brought me here? Why am I here? This doesn't look like a hospital I know. Where is Barry? Where are my mom and dad? Where are all the doctors? Where the _hell_ am I?

Taking a quick look around I found a long mirror which reflected anything in it's path. At first I didn't even recognize myself; I saw my head on someone else's body. My long black hair cascaded down to my shoulders as navy blue eyes stood out because of my fair skin.

Instead of my normal, just skinny, no muscle what-so-ever self; I saw a woman who looked like she had worked out for years. I saw a body of a woman who lives and breathes fit. I saw someone who if-she wanted to-could run a superman without even breaking a sweat. That's not me-not saying I don't like it-it's just that-I don't remember getting this fit or muscular. I don't remember how I got here or why I am here. It's all so...fuzzy.

Thankfully the people who took me here have some decency, I was in a comfortable purple sports bra and baggy grey sweat pants...which makes me wonder-how long have I been here?

Walking to the door it opened automatically and this is where curiosity killed the cat.

The whole place was humongous and breath taking, if my mouth could-it would hit the floor. This whole place is amazing-I don't think I've ever been anywhere this cool before. Wow…just wow…

"So you're awake," a cool voice said behind me, "Hello Samantha,"  
>Turning around I saw a man in a wheel chair, he had the curious light blue eyes of a scientist. His black hair was spiked up and off of his face. The man wore a long sleeved black shirt that fitted his body pretty well…but I wonder how he got to be in that chair?<p>

"I'm Harrison Wells," he informed.

"Oh you're that S.T.A.R labs guy," I figured out, "How did that particle accelerator go?"  
>Wells gave a sigh and avoided my gaze for a few seconds but then made eye contact with me, "It went to plan for about 45 minutes and then it all went wrong."<br>I chuckled, "Doesn't it always?"  
>"It seems so…and it's the reason you're here today." Harrison informed with a slight reassuring smile on his face, "You've missed a lot."<br>"Eh," I shrugged, "Couldn't have missed much,"

Walking to another door it slid open for us with ease to reveal a half naked man sitting on a hospital bed being examined by two curios scientists. One was a man; he had medium length black hair which went down to his neck. He wore casual clothing, a plaid shirt and jeans.  
>"You should sit down," he said.<br>"How long have I been here?" Barry wondered.

"9 months," Wells replied and they all looked back at us, "Welcome back Mr. Allen."  
>Barry's expression softened when he saw me and he gave me a small smile and a wave. I returned the action as my heart picked up it's pace as I saw my crush's bare chest. Wow…he looks amazing. Even hotter then the last time I saw him, without even thinking I went to hug him. I guess he had the same intention.<p>

I could feel his heart beating, its speeding, Barry's warmth radiated onto me. His now strong arms held me place. We stood there for a few seconds before I pulled away.

"So anyone care to explain?" I wondered.

**OOOOO  
><strong>Long story short, I was struck by lightning and fell into a coma for nine months. I was at S.T.A.R labs, and all those people were Doctors-well except one of them-one of them was an engineer. Cisco-so far the only person I can think and not shudder.

I don't like doctors, not because of needles or not liking to going under aesthesia-I just…it's like…it's hard to explain. Something happened when I was kid-it's made me scared of any doctor since. Call irrational if you want-I can't stand to be near them. They scare me even though they don't even try; just the thought of having to be alone with them terrifies me.

Mom and dad tried to put me through therapy to try and help me with it-but it didn't work. Trying to recall the memory was even worse then being in a hospital. So eventually after lots and lots of money my parents just gave up. Barry knows about my fear, and even though not even he can wrap his brain around it-he doesn't question it.

"I'm sure you'll warm up to them." He assured, "It'll just take a little time."  
>"Don't pin your hopes on it," I replied as we walked to the café that Iris-Barry's crush-worked.<p>

She was turned around talking to a customer completely oblivious to our presence. Oh was she in for a surprise. Barry is going to melt in her arms and it's going to be a happy family reunion. Geez why don't you let me go to the bathroom and barf while you're at it…

…but I digress-this is a happy moment I should at least be happy for Barry's sake.

When Iris caught sight of us it looked like her heart stopped. She was lost in thought for a moment but then came back to reality and ran towards Barry, "Oh my God,"  
>Gritting my teeth I looked away as anger and jealousy ran through my veins. Please don't hug me, please don't hug me please don't-<p>

Long, soft, warm arms wrapped around me as I cursed in my mind-but instead of pushing for away for Barry's sake I hugged back gently. Surprisingly Iris's embrace was comforting and friendly. I haven't felt this welcomed for anyone besides Barry…maybe she isn't _as _bad as I thought she was. Maybe I could find a liking towards her?  
>Iris pulled away and looked at Barry, "You're awake-why didn't S.T.A.R labs call us?"<br>"We just woke up." Barry replied as he looks at me with a huge smile on his face.

"You just woke up?" Iris repeated leaving me irrelevant, "Are you sure you should be walking around-"

"I'm fine," Barry assured as he wrapped his arm around my back, "We're fine,"  
>"I watched you die Barry." The young repeated, "I saw you die-your heart kept stopping."<p>

"Well it's beating now," he point out as he took her head and pressed it to his chest.

Oh god-ok right now I only take back half of the bad things I said about Iris-she still has to earn the right to make the other half go away.

Again I looked away and held my tongue, taking a deep breath in an attempted to calm myself. I shouldn't be angered by this little act-Iris is Barry's sister-in-law…kinda. She grew up with him-she had a right to be worried about him-I just wish it wasn't in such a physical way…oh why should I care? Barry likes her better anyway.

At that moment I saw something impossible happen, the whole world slowed down, everyone was barely even moving-they actions didn't even looking like they were happening. A waitress that was falling looked like she wasn't even moving-what the hell-what the hell is happening? Why am only I being normal paced? Why is everyone so slow? As soon as it happened the moment ended and everything was…ordinary…

Confused-yes-scared-no-is my mind blown-is there a wrong answer to that question?  
>Barry and I made eye contact-did he experience the same thing I did? Oh god what the hell is happening to me? I couldn't make sense of what was happening-no science I knew could help me figure out this enigma-all I could do is lie my way out of it.<p>

"I'm going to go call my parents-call me if anything happens." I ordered.

Without another word I left, it's time to test my new abilities

**OOOOO**

The whole world blurred around me, the rodes the cars, the people, even the day and white puffy clouds blurred into one mass. I wonder if anyone noticed me-I bet all they could feel was a sudden gust of wind or see a blur of color past them. It's amazing really just to see a whole city pass by you in a blink of an eye.

This is great and all…but how do I stop exactly? Where are the breaks on this thing?  
>Stop-<p>

Break-

Pause-

Oh crap…

Ok I guess it's time to put on the air bags.

Taking a turn I think…I hope…it was an abandoned.  
>My speed was too great and the door only took away a fraction of the momentum, and I was still going. My feet continued to run but then-thankfully-I ran into a concrete wall. I hit it with a smack and…oh god did it hurt. I think I may have a concussion-and several broken bones-and probably some brain damage. And I think I'll have to buy some new shoes, these are pretty worn down.<p>

After just laying on the cold floor for a few minutes I was ready to get up. Standing up pain shot through my body, all the blood that went to my head was now making me dizzy and preventing me seeing my surroundings. My skull throbbed while I clutched my hurting arm. Regaining my sight I saw that I was in an abandoned warehouse, it was mainly empty-just some tables and chairs covered in a white fabric. I was about to just about to shrug off the meaningless of this place…but something-in the corner of my eye-there's a door-a staircase-a staircase that shouldn't be there.

And let's just say curiosity got the best of me-against my better judgment I went to it. Pain engulfed me every step. I should stop and go home-I should go back and call my parents and tell them I'm ok…but I won't.

Pushing the door open I encountered a world I never thought I'd see. Inside there were various different weapons, there were expensive looking bows. An endless arsenal of bows…very sharp, deadly bows, there were also some costly looking guns, ammunition, and training equipment. They were all shown off in display cases lit from the bottom-all of them are beautifully made. Who ever has this hide out must have pretty deep pockets. Besides the weapons there were also computers, I guess this isn't just one guy-by the looks of this main base type place; this has to be a team…but a team of what?

Lost in my own thoughts I examined the weapons-but did not touch the bows. I learned that unspoken rule a long time ago-don't touch things that aren't yours…but I can still admire from close up. These bows were amazing-I used to take lessons when I was a kid-stopped once I hit college. I can say I'm good shot-but who ever uses these-they're the best of the best of the best, nobody I know has any thing near as good as these.

Then I heard something wiz by my ear and slam into the wall in front of me, I froze.

Looking at it I saw an arrow, a green arrow. It plunged itself into the grey wall, uncaring about its target.

Looks like somebody is home,

A deep voice gave me a command, "Put your hands up and don't turn around."  
>Obediently I did slowly and precisely, not wanting to make any sudden movement, I stood up straight and looked forward-pushing away any curiosity of the people behind me. These people probably thought I was an intruder-or a robber. I'm kinda an intruder, I came in here without permission-but I didn't take anything. So I can sort of tell why they are on high alert.<p>

"Tell us who you are," the distorted voice ordered.

"I'm Samantha Park," I informed, "Forensic examiner for the CCPD."  
>"How did you find this place?" It demanded, "Who told you about it?"<br>I shrugged, "No one, I kinda just stumbled upon it."  
>More like I crashed into it,<p>

"That's a lie," it stated.

"It's not a lie," I replied, "Really I just stumbled upon it,"

Looking at the bow I chuckled, "Beautiful bows though, I used to shoot-but then life got in the way."  
>You know what-fuck it-if they wanted to kill me. They would have done it already. Upon turning around I saw only one face that was familiar. He had short brown hair and lovely ocean blue eyes. A partial beard appeared on his face as he wore casual clothing, a red plaid shirt and dark jeans. He looked handsome and dashing…and his name is Oliver Queen.<p>

I heard about him on the news, he went missing for 5 years. Everybody thought he was dead, his whole family-I think they even pronounced him dead and put a grave stone up and didn't bury the body-because there wasn't one to bury.

Next to him there is another man, close to my age. He bares Oliver's physical appearance, dark brown hair-and beautiful, enchanting indigo eyes. The man also was in a defensive stance, not taking his eyes off me and just waiting for the command to take me out,

"Oh, so rich boy and pretty boy," I shrugged, "Should've known."  
>"Who told you of this location?" Oliver repeated in a threatening tone.<p>

"Oh for Christ sake-again-nobody," I pointed out, "I ran here-how was I supposed to know it was a secret base?"  
>Putting my hands down I looked at Oliver, "Put the bow down-do I look like a killer to you?"<p>

"Not all murderers look like killers." He pointed out as he increased the tension on his bow.

"Point taken," I admitted, "But seriously-it was a complete accident coming here-just let me go and I won't breathe a word."  
>"How can we trust you?"<br>I shrugged, "You can't, you just have to hope and pray I'll do the right thing."  
>Blind trust, that's what most people have. The blindly trust the people around to, we all blindly trust each other. I sometimes let the people around me lead me to the right option-because I don't know which one to choose. Sometimes you have to let the people in your life choose for you. If you don't-then-life gets hard…because making all the choices in your life in impossible, other guide you, shape you, and carry you along through the hardship you face…and that all comes form blind trust.<p>

But no one let their guard down; both of them were as stiff as a tree, and I sighed, "Great, I guess the hard way it is-see you guys around I guess. Oh and pretty boy-catch me if you can."  
>Without even trying I ran into a super speed only I could achieve. This is what makes me feel free-I forget the world…and I all I have to do is run.<p>

**ZZZZZ**

Arriving at my house I pushed the white door in, I'm finally home. The place is slightly covered in a thin layer of dust, it feels like just like yesterday I had left here and went to work-I feels like I just had a late night and was coming home to sleep for a few hours…but it'd been months. I hadn't been at my house for nine months.

Nine months…

The reality suddenly hit me-I had been gone for almost a year-it almost doesn't seem possible.

How could I have been gone for so long and not remember it?  
>Heading over to my couch I plopped down lazily, in doing so a cloud of dust entered the air. Right…nine months…nine months…I have some cleaning to do.<p>

Broom, pledge, vacuum…lets get this started I guess. I can use my super speed to get this down really quickly-but I can't control it-I don't want to have to fix a whole wall because I had to use it has a brake. So I guess it's the old fashioned way for now…

This may sound a bit stupid-but whenever I start cleaning I pretend I'm Cinderella. That this boring life that I have is soon to be over and I'll find my prince some where in the night. I sweep and hum a song that I've always known, I pretend that tomorrow I will find my true love and we'll get married, have a few kids. We'll have the perfect life and we'll always love each other through thick and thin. Sometimes I almost trick myself into believing that…but I know that it's never as easy as bippty boppity boo.

Soon I was done with cleaning the apartment, it didn't take that long, it's only like 5 rooms, it's not like a mansion of anything…now it is time to un-dust the furniture and wash some dust ridden cloths. God I wish mom was here, she'd be the multi-tasking person who would be folding, cleaning, talking, and making tomato soup and a grilled cheese. I'll call her tomorrow, knowing my mother she'll catch the next plane and make my life miserable.

Deep in laundry I heard a knock at the door-a demanding, hard, knock that could get anybody up from a deep sleep. Rushing to go answer it I stumbled on a few piles of cloths on the floor, "Coming-hold on a whoa-ment,"  
>Sliding the silver chain lock across white door I opened entrance to find Cisco, the engineer. He stood there with his hands in his pockets. He looked at me with happy brown eyes and nice white smile, "Hey Sammie."<br>"Cisco," I questioned, "Hello,"  
>"You need to come to S.T.A.R labs." He informed, "Like right now."<p>

"Um," I started as tried to come up with an excuse to not go…but to be honest lying to doctors never ends well, "Fine,"  
><strong>OOOOOO<strong>

Many people hate S.T.A.R labs and I can't really blame them. The scientists unintentionally lied; they said everything was going to be safe. The particle accelerator was going to come online and it would launch us into the future. When things started to go wrong-they tried to fix it…and they failed. Peopled died, many more were injured-and unfortunately people don't forget very easily.

I can speak from experience…it's harder to forget then it is to forgive.

"Ah," Doctor Wells said as he caught site of me, "Samantha-nice of you to join us."

"Nice to see you Doctor Wells," I acknowledged.

My heart began to race, as a small wave of panic and terror started to wash over me. A little voice in my head screamed at me to run away and don't look back. It told me escape and don't look back. It screamed and shouted at me to leave, ordering me around like as if I were a helpless child. So I ignored it like as if I were listening to an adult. Pretending as if it were just music in the background-fading away, I willed it to go away. _Go away_, that's what I told it, _go away_. And soon it did, it faded away to a sound like rain droplets coming down on a roof lulling me to sleep.

"Where's Barry," I wondered as I strained to keep the frightened tone unnoticeable.

"He's at work," Doctor Snow informed, "We already ran the tests we needed from him-we just need to run them on you."  
>"Oh yay," I said unenthusiastically, "Tests-it's what I live for."<br>Sitting down I sat up straight and placed my hands in my lap and waiting for Doctor Snow's instruction and zoned out to avoid having a panic attack. It's hard not to flinch away when her hands touch my body. _Just endure it Sammie, _I thought to myself to try and calm to down, _she'll be done in a few minutes._

_**Run…have to run…please I have to get away, **_the other half of me begged, _**it isn't safe here. It isn't safe.**_

Finally Doctor Snow went to go face her computer to put it some results or something I don't know.

"You alright Samantha," Doctor Wells wondered catching my uneasiness.

No, no I'm not alright. Does it look like I am alright? Does it look like I want to be here? Can't you see I am terrified? Can't you see that I am this close from going into a panic attack?!  
>But…<p>

I shrugged, "Fine, I guess,"

My tone was very monotone, uncaring, and robotic. It showed my fear and nervousness more so then my action. Each word was short and silent or long and unsure. There was no assuring pitch or confident swag. I was terrified…and hiding it wasn't very easy.

A small chuckle came from him, "You're scared of doctors."  
>"That obvious huh," I assumed.<p>

"No," he replied, "Barry warned us that you may not be very open to the idea of coming back to S.T.A.R labs."

That's a nice way of putting it I guess…but my fear isn't as bad as it was when I was a kid. I couldn't even go past a hospital without going into a panic attack. I couldn't sign up to do any sports because I refused to have a physical done. I had to be home schooled for a year or so because I didn't want get shots done by the doctors. The very word doctor terrified me, and it still sends a shiver down my spin and makes my hands go all clammy…but now I control it. It doesn't control me. I tell myself what to do-my fear isn't a handicap. Even if it still makes me second guess myself-I will not succumb to it. I will not let it take me.

"I know it'll take a little while getting to," Harrison stated, "But I'm sure you'll get used to us."  
>I gave a small chuckle and shrug. As much as I wanted to believe him-I couldn't. My fear will never go away. It'll follow me like a shadow during the day and the moon in the night-always to scare me without warning. It's something I'll never get over…it's only another voice I'll have to ignore until it shouts to loud to be over looked.<p>

**OOOOO  
><strong>It isn't until I am halfway home that I can relax and stop looking over my shoulder. It's not till then I can breathe deeply and not in short shallow breaths. It's then I can be fully assured that I am not in danger. Its then that the voice in my seized to yell and scream at me to run away, it's then I can walk a little lighters…I can jog…I can run.

While running my thoughts cleared, the clouds in my head turned to open blue skies. Everything was crystal clear and crisp. My mind was no longer sluggish from being around the doctors-it was now running fast-almost as fast as my legs were moving. It processed the world around me-letting me see the slow world walk past. It feels amazing; it feels like I can do anything. The impossible is no longer out of reach-it is now in my grasp-it is with me.

What is the use of walking-when you can run? What's the use of running when you can sprint? What's the use of sprinting when you can run faster then the speed of sound?

This is what I was born to do. This is what I was destined to become. This is what I needed to become. The feeling of rich and pure energy surged through me as I run seeming endlessly

Then as if unintentionally-I stopped, I didn't know why-but I just had a feeling. You know that one where something is going to happen and it's most likely not good thing.

I stopped outside of a warehouse type building. The outside almost blended into the night-it warned me not to go in. It told me-to ignore everything and go home-but again-who said I had to listen?  
>Silently I found my way inside; each room I checked seemed to be empty. Some wall designs were up on the walls, several photos; shiny metal tables appeared in each room though. Not too sure what to think about that, better not ask questions-I don't want to know who or really <em>what<em> is going on here.

I have an inkling that it's not a good thing.

In this building my shoes slapped the ground and made echoing noises that reverberated off the walls alerting everyone of where I was. Even lightly walking on the balls of my feet, there was no denying I was heard.

It was then I heard, "Oh it looks like you pricked yourself."  
>On high alert I stood as still as a statue next to the door listening in to the conversation, "Everyone has a fear," a man said, "What is yours?"<br>I heard several punches being swung; I heard sluggish feet move on the concrete floor. They moved slowly and ungracefully. What was going on in here? Drug deal gone bad, drug test, someone stumble in wrong place wrong time? Were they kidnapped and I am listening to someone trying to escape?

Then as if someone was trying to be a hero, another man shouted, "Hey, let him go!"  
>Series of gunshots set course to a target, they reverberate in my ears leaving me shocked. It took me a few moments to collect my thoughts and restore my alertness. After a few seconds the chaos had disappeared and the sounds of normal life return.<p>

I could hear a body fall to the ground as someone struggled to breathe. Feeling the need to help I rushed in on the scene and what I found…I couldn't believe. A police officer lay on the ground with labored breathing. A man knelt down next to him, increasingly worried, "Call an ambulance-call an ambulance."  
>"I can get him there faster." I informed.<p>

The masked vigilante looked at me surprised, but then looked back at his…friend-I'm guessing.

"Help him," he ordered.

Without question I knelt down beside him and carefully picked him up, the police officer wasn't as heavy as I thought he was going to be…but it light as a feather I can say that, "Are you sure you can get him there?"  
>"Faster then any driver can run a red light," I replied and went full speed down and out to the nearest hospital.<p>

**OOOOO  
><strong>The doctors took in the man quickly and automatically dropped any no life threatening cases to go work on him. I stood at the door making sure that the police officer received the medical care he needed. I still don't know his name…but I guess I won't have to considering I'm leaving anyway.

As soon I walked a block from the hospital a wave of nausea hit me. A headache pounded my skull mercilessly, in this condition I had to stop. My shaking hand gripped a brick wall for support as my world began to spin. My mind slowed to the speed of molasses coming out of a bottle. Even my feet no longer worked and my arms became jelly. My center of balance tipped from side to side…before my weariness over took me I saw a red man…a red man hovering over me.

…**.**

I woke up feeling fine, a bit drowsy-but nothing an energy drink can't fix. Sitting up I looked at my surroundings…it's the base I found. Why am I here? Who brought me here?  
>A womanly voice stated the obvious, "Oh you're awake,"<br>"The Arrow Cave," she replied as she came towards me. The blonde woman gave me a friendly smile as she stuck out her hand, "I'm Felicity Smoak."

Hesitantly I repeated her actions and began to say my name, "I'm-"  
>"Samantha Park," Felicity stated, "You're a forensic scientist for the CCPD."<br>"How did you-"

"Know that," she finished, "I looked you up."  
>"Ah," I replied, "Hacker…how did I get here?"<br>'Oh, Roy found you." Felicity informed as she pointed behind me, "He's the one who brought you here."  
>Turning around I saw handsome young man sitting in a chair unknowingly brooding. He looked surprisingly cute there, just doing nothing, staring into the distance, Roy's blue eyes stood out to me. They're full of emotion and question, they were beautiful and amazing…and a little distracting to.<p>

Roy gave me a small wave and I turned around to see Felicity again, "I-I saw that you woke up from a coma with some one-"

"Barry," I interrupted, "His name is Barry."

The name is like velvet…or silk. I say it smoothly and carefully. Every syllable is crisp and clear and cared for. It's like the name is sacred, almost god like. The end is like the finish on wooden table. It only makes it more admirable.  
>"Yeah I was just wondering if…if he's alright…"<br>"As far as I know," I shrugged, "Anyway I have to go, I have a job to get to and some people who get very worried when I don't show up."

Going to the door I continued my statement, "Thanks for saving me and uh-lets hope we don't meet again by the same means."

"Uh, ok-"

**ZZZZZZ  
><strong>Let's just say as soon as my head hit my pillow I passed out into a blissful sleep. All noise around me was muted, my bed was a cloud and my pillow was heaven. It felt so good to finally be in my own bed. It felt like it had been years since I had been in it. My blankets embraced me with a kind warmth that lulled me into a deep sleep.

…but it only felt like minutes once I closed my tired eyes that my annoying alarm clock started beeping.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Oh please just let me go to sleep, please just let me-just five more minutes…please.

Reaching my hand over I attempted to find the snooze button and I failed several times. Once I finally found the flat hidden button I was searching for I opened my heavy eyes.

It's time to get up.

…

When I arrived at station I received a few relieved faces, most of them were the detectives I helped with on their cases.

But it was Detective West that actually gave me a welcome, once he laid eyes on me a sigh of relief escaped him and he gave me a quick hug, "Welcome back Sammie-you gave us all a scare back there."

Stepping back I gave him a smile, "It's nice to be back Detective…where's Detective Chrye?"  
>He opened his mouth but didn't answer…that was the only response I need. I guess I did miss a lot didn't I? I didn't really want to know what happened-I didn't want to know how he died or when…<p>

Instead I asked, "I'm sad to hear that…hey do you know where-"

"I don't-"

Reaching for my phone I cut him off, "It's ok, I'll just ping his phone….looks like he's heading towards S.T.A.R. labs. I'll catch up with you later Detective."  
>Leaving I heard Joe's confusion behind me and as soon as I hit the sidewalk…I walked…then went into a light jog, and then-I ran.<p>

…

Walking into S.T.A.R labs that voice that screams at me to run began yelling again. It told me to go away-it said it isn't safe…but I swallowed my fear and went in anyway.

"-we have to go stop him." I heard Barry say.

"Barry," Well's stated, making him stop and turn to look at him, "That's a job for the police."  
>"I work for the police." Barry pointed out.<br>"As a forensic assistant-"  
>"You're responsible for this-for him!"<p>

"What's important is you!" Well's stated loudly, "Not me, I lost everything, my company, my reputation, I lost my freedom and then you broke your arm and it healed in three hours! Barry what's in you can change the world. We can't risk everything just because you want to play hero!"  
>Oh great here we go again,<p>

"Because you aren't a hero," the doctor said, "You're just a man who was struck by lightning."  
>The way he said it made me want to slap him. I wanted to curse him into oblivion. I wanted to take him out of his wheelchair and pin him to the ground. Nobody talks to Barry like that. He's fragile, you can't just treat him like he's kid.<p>

When Barry left I let it out, "Don't treat him like a lab rat, he's a person just like you. Sure trying to be a hero isn't the brightest of all ideas-but at least he wants to help…unlike you guys."  
>Without another word I followed Barry, "For the record, you are the best forensic assistant I've ever had."<br>**ZZZZZZ**

Barry refused to talk to me about what he was thinking. He pushed me away like he always does when he's treated this way. It pains me to step away from him though; it's weird when he doesn't let me in. I've been with him since we were 11, and when he just alienates himself like this it kinda worries me…but I'm not his mother-I can't just hover over him waiting for him to make a mistake. I just have to step back and let him do what he wants, he's a grown man. He can make he's own decisions.

Going back to my apartment I contemplated going after him-but that'd be too clingy wouldn't it? It would show I didn't trust him-when I do obviously. I trust Barry with my life-I would die for him. I'd go to the abyss and back. I'd travel Heaven and Hell. I'd move mountains just get him where he needed to go. He's my best friend-and I'd do anything in my power to make sure he gets what he needs.

That is how he got the job as my assistant in the CCPD. I pulled a few strings, used a favor or so and now owe a favor or two.

Thankfully he was already close to one of the detectives, so I didn't have to work too hard to get him in. But he's been a blessing, he's taken half the work load off my shoulder and now I can pay attention to other cases that badly need my help.

Speaking of our job, in the lab there is a pull down map that covers a pin board-which Barry thinks I don't know that he is still looking for his mother's killer. I wish he'd get over it-but look at me, I can't stop looking back at the deaths in my family. And I can't blame him-because I can't do any better.

Answers are what kill us in the end. They are spoken-yet we don't want to listen. The lies we tell to gloss over the truth are sometimes better then the real truth. Because the truth hurts…it hurts and it sticks with you forever. You can ever never escape it…it finds you in the darkest and most vulnerable places and attacks prepared or not.

So telling him to get up and over it would make me a hypocrite right? Not that he knows anything…what-we both can keep our secrets…not that Barry is good at maintaining one. He's terrible at keeping secrets-he's a very talkative person. What can I say-scientists love to talk and sometimes they don't know when to shut up.

**ZZZZZZZ**

I laid my couch while my T.V nosily continued to play some night time soap that repeated every week. From what I heart there was a love triangle going on between two brothers and a girlfriend I think…or was it that vampire one with the slayer? I don't know-I can barely tell sometimes-I swear half the shows I watch are just repeats of each other. Same storyline, same problem, same character flaws-just different people and actors, I swear-I may have been gone for nine months-but it's good it know that I don't need to catch up on anything.

"Why don't you just tell him?" The girl's friend wondered.

"Because," she stated, "It's not that simple."  
>"How simple does it need to be for you Kyler?" She asked again, "What's the worst he can say? No?"<p>

"We've been friends for most of our lives and I don't want to mess it up." Kyler stated.

"Then just ad I was dared or just kidding or something." The friend pointed out.

"Addy," Kyler said, "This isn't just some T.V show where we say our lines and then we go home at the end of the day. Its life-I know that Eddie doesn't like me the way I like him. It'll just be weird to know that your best friend fantasizes about kissing you or something."

"Preach it sister,"

Why does my life have to resemble a night time soap? Why am I the one who can't I fall in love with a guy who isn't my best friend? Why is it that every time I look at him I find myself seeing the rest of my life with him? Why is it that when I'm with him-the world isn't around us?

His kind blue eyes make me melt and his pearly white smile sends electricity up my spine. His sacred touch sets aflame to my skin and makes my knees weak. All I want to do is kiss him…just one…just to know how it would feel. Just to know if my feelings for are real…or of they just a figment of my imagination.

Laying on the couch I slowly drifted to sleep, letting the T.V carry me to sleep.

**ZZZZZZZ**

"Ok that was awesome," Cisco smiled.

"I need to run some tests." Doctor Snow stated as she ran up from her computer.

Barry was in the suit that Cisco, the 'toy maker', made. It's a dark red color with accents of gold and a few blacks. A gold lightning bolt was on his chest and his ears and from what I've over heard-it has a life monitoring system which tells them everything that is going on.

Every thing seemed to be going swell, everyone is celebrating, laughing, having a good time…and doing tests apparently.

In the middle of it Barry Allen stood, smiling and having a blast. For once he was fast-he was the fastest man alive. He can be the difference. He can be the hero. He is the hero. But he doesn't know that he's always been the hero…at least to me he has. To me the best kind of hero doesn't need a mask, or a superpower. Because sometimes the best superpower isn't a superpower at all,

To knock me out of my daze Doctor Snow tapped me on the shoulder, I turned around, "Hm?"  
>"Hey-since Barry is now apart of this…thing," she started, "We were wondering if you could maybe take some of his cases or…"<br>I shrugged, "I don't care, I've it done before."

Yes I do, before Barry came I easily had 25 cases during the work week. The idiots are out more on the weekend so let's just say I didn't have much of a weekend. There wasn't much sleeping back then, I slept more on my couch then on my actual bed. I lived in the prescient. I think one time I even stayed there for a week trying to get information on a case. Then there was the coffee, I went there so often the cashier knew my middle name. I could recite every thing on the menu backwards, and I had tried everything on the menu at least 4 or 5 times.

_Just grin and bare it, _I told myself, _Grin and bare it._

"In fact," I stated, "I have a case to go to now."  
>I knew they wouldn't call me if they needed me, because I knew they didn't. They had Barry…and they only need me for is side by side comparison. Besides I'm only a forensic scientist…what use could they possible need for me?<p>

My name is Samantha Park.

And I was struck by lightning,

Now I am faster then light and I'm so quick that the world around me looks like they are moving is slow motion. When I run all you can see a streak or feel a gust of wind.

But what am I called?  
>That's easy.<p>

I'm just a normal city dweller just like you…just a tiny bit faster.

_**Hello again,  
>So what did you think of it?<br>I hope you like it. I enjoyed writing it and can't wait to get more out to you.  
><strong>__**So yeah...I'll see you guys later-stay awesome my friends. **_


	2. Wounds Reopened

**Hey guys! I'm back again. I sorta themed this as a Thanksgiving thing. Kinda short, but it'll do I guess. Anyway-again I don't own anything but my . So yeah...sit back and relax and enjoy the story-cupcakekiller12**

"Five more minutes, "I begged as I put my head further into the darkness provided by my arms.

"Why are sleeping here?" The detective asked, "You have a bed at home don't you?"  
>"Yeah," I stated, "But the desks here are so much more comfortable,"<br>He chuckled as he held my arm, "Come on, I'll take you home.  
>Sighing I stood up drowsily, "Two days-two day…he's gone and suddenly the world's pressure is back on my shoulders."<p>

"Not all flowers and paradise is it?" Jo pointed out.

"Never said it was Jo," I stated, "I only said it was easier when my assistant decides to show up to work."  
>"I'll say a word to him." He informed, "So, go home-get some sleep."<br>"I'll try…" I repeated, "I'll try,"  
><strong>ZZZZZZZZ<strong>

Carelessly I slammed my door shut while my lagging feet were a few steps behind me. I threw the keys of the car I left behind at the station, on the entrance table that contained a bowl of random objects. I heard them clang somewhere…but I didn't really think about-I'll find them in the morning anyway.

So sleep or food…what time is it anyway?

_**5:56 AM**_

No point in sleeping I guess…so food it is. Speaking of which…did I have dinner-or lunch…I think I had breakfast…oh yeah I had a bagel with creamed cheese and grape jelly…but I think it's too obvious that I kinda forgot about any other type of meal. So what do I have…what do I have…

Opening my fridge I saw orange juice, a half full carton of milk, an empty carton of eggs, some margarine and butter. A pudding cup and a candy bar stood on second shelf, sighing took them both-it's the best meal…but it's not like I have much of a choice at this rate.

As I sat on my couch a loud ringing noise came from my pocket. At first I was shocked, scared, my whole body became rigid from the interaction. Taking the phone from my pocket I looked at the caller I.D, it was Barry. This can't be good if he's call me at this hour.

"Hey Barry," I greeted as I tried to put a fake sense of energy into my tone, "What's up?"  
>"Hey Sammie," he replied, "Is it ok if I don't come into work today?"<p>

I placed the phone away from my mouth and silently cursed to myself before placing it back, "That's fine."  
>"Oh-great," Barry smiled over the speaker, "I'll talk to you later."<br>"Bye," I said as I clicked the red button on my touch screen.

Next time he does that-I'm so going to kill him.

**ZZZZZZZ**

"Park," a detective asked, "Where's that report?"  
>"I have it done sir," I said, "I can get it to you in a few minutes."<p>

"What about my bullet analysis?" Another wondered.

"I'll get it to you when I can," I stated, "Just please wait a few seconds,"  
>"What about-"<p>

"Shut up please," I ordered, "I have two whole stacks of cases on my desk right now-I have several fiber analysis on my computer running at the exact same time as we speak. There are several other tests being preformed on another computer also. So please, cut me some slack-I am doing the best I can right now. Barry is dealing with personal issues right now and it is not in my job description to force him to come to work. So if you want your bullet analysis done faster take it up with him."  
>On that note I went upstairs to do my work.<p>

This was the third day in a row Barry told me he wasn't coming to work. The first time I was ok with it-I can handle multiple cases for day. I've done it before, it's not that difficult-multi-tasking is one of my talents. I can talk, walk, text, and work all at once. That's not what I have difficulty with…it's when the people of Central City go on a killing spree and bank robberies. It's different when I have only 5 cases to juggle then 15 cases to attempt to work on. And it's hard not to look into the and see everything-it's hard not to feel guilty about not being able to work quicker on it-it's hard clues on a blank page…and the more I get the more I want to help and the more I want to get everything done.

But I think I'm just killing myself in the end of it all…

A soft knock on the door, and I looked up, _please let it be Barry, please let it be Barry, _"Hey, you ok Sam?"  
>The voice Jo diminished my hope; I was wishing it was Barry who would walk through the door. Right now he'd be the hero and I'd be the damsel suffering from sleep deprivation. Oh please let it be news about Barry-please…I don't think I can take anymore of this.<p>

"Y-yeah…I'm ok," I said, but it wasn't very convincing, my tone was flat and shy. I was unsure of my words and actions; my brain was becoming mush from my lack of sleep.

"Did you catch any sleep?" He wondered.

I looked at him for a moment trying to figure out what to day. Should I lie or should I tell him the truth. Tell him the truth he sends me home and I am kept awake by how much work I have to do. Lie to him and he doesn't question it and I continue my work more then half asleep. It's like defusing a bomb, clip the wrong wire and everything goes _boom_. But I guess it doesn't really matter what I choose-both of them I hate and both have a bad side to them.

"I caught a few Z's."

Jo smiled, "Great-I was just wondering if you had that tox-screen for that drug case…"  
>I nodded and slowly got up, "Yes, it's what I was waiting for this morning."<br>Handing him the thin packet of paper I summarized it for him, "In simple terms, if the man had taken another blow of his pipe, he would have O.D. So yes-he was capable of killing-but high off his ass. Probably could barely tell the difference between the men, woman, and uni-sex bathrooms."  
>The detective smiled as he flipped through it, "Thanks,"<br>I shrugged, "It's my job."  
>As he turned to leave I asked a question, "Did you talk to Barry?"<br>"He was reminded by Iris that he had to one of her school things." Jo informed, "Barry said he called you,"  
>"He did," I said, "He did…I just-I was just wondering why he didn't come in again."<br>"He wanted me to tell you sorry." Jo informed as if it made anything better.  
>Sorry is just a band-aid. It means nothing! I mean like what can you do with it? What does it do? What can it undo? All it is an apology. It's supposed to counter act an unwanted action. It's supposed to undo a bad saying or sentence.<p>

Sorry is used to start bad news…when you hear 'I'm so sorry but…' you know when to brace. You can feel your heart just breaking and there is nothing you can do to stop it.

Like what do you say to person who has terminal cancer? I'm sorry but you have cancer. How does that even help? Will a sorry just make everything go away, can it bring back the dead? Will it make someone in a wheelchair walk again? Will it make a person wake up from a coma? Now we all know the answer to that one…no it can't…it never has and it never will.

"Tell him the next sick day he takes is going to be in a prison cell." I informed.

"I will," Jo repeated, "I will."  
>It was a few minutes or so after he left a huge wave of pain come over me. It started in my head and made its way down to my feet in less then seconds. My skull felt like it was imploding in on itself or like several jack hammers were making their ways down to the center of my brain. The world started to spin like as if I were on one of those spinning rides at the amusement park…expect I wasn't strapped in. I couldn't tell where I was going exactly.<p>

My hands tried to grip something, I this it was my desk or Barry's desk-maybe one of the shelves. I couldn't tell. All the colors blurred together like a sea of confusion and pain. As my knees failed my breathing hitched as I tried to stay up.

Then after a second or so-it all went away-like as if it never even there.

Catching my breathe I stood there for a moment as I tried to analyze what was going on. Was my sleep deprivation finally getting to me? Was this apart of the new powers that I gained? Why would I have this pain thought unless…it wasn't my pain…

_Barry_

**OOOOOOOO  
><strong>My visit to S.T.A.R labs was unplanned, no one expected me to come on my own. Not even I expected myself to be here on a rainy day.

The though off being here alone makes me fear to live and to be here without Barry makes me feel powerless-like I can't control what's being down. I am at their disposal-no mine. And every time I go near S.T.A.R I see every possibility gone wrong. I see the worst of everything; I see all the sadness and mourning I still have left weighing on my heart.

All my common sense goes out the window-all of my belief in the finding the good everyone is obliterated into oblivion. It makes me question every move and every thought I have. I can't think straight and act right-it's like a haze of confusion and fear comes over me and moves me and until I am far away from its sight and sound I am under it's control.

Swallowing my fear whole I stepped inside of the laboratory and looked around, "Cisco…Doctor Wells…Doctor Snow…"

Slowly making my way through the white, high tech, sterile lab, I looked for any of the people who terrified me to the bone without even trying. Let's just hope they don't sneak me up on me-other wise…let's just say it won't end well.

My heart began to race even more so then before, please let Barry be here so _**I**_ can get out of here. As I walked around I saw a bed, oh how much I wanted to just lay down and fall asleep…no I can't. I have to find Barry…but it'll only be for a few minutes right? He can take care of himself…besides-I need some shut eyes anyway…

Lying down on the hospital bed I placed my head on the soft pillow and shut my eyes.

_5 minutes…_I thought to myself, _5 minutes…_

Slowly I drifted off to sleep…letting the silence of the lab take me under and allowing my worries and fears to slide away. My whole body relaxed and the world of dreams took me under its wing, carrying me to a land far away from my problems.

**ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ**

Sammie and Barry both laid unconscious on beds. Sammie laid on her side and one of her hands was slid under the white pillow that held her head. She still wore her shoes, socks and normal cloths; one of scientists had tried to wake her up but had failed. Instead of attempting again Cisco placed a thin, blue sheet over her to keep her warm.

Barry on the other hand had a dozen or so I.V bags hooked up to him-all of them drained of their liquid. He laid on his back, hands by his side-placed there by Doctor Snow.

All three remaining employees of S.T.A.R Labs waited for one of them to wake up. Cisco was running over his calculations again on his computer, while Caitlin monitored Barry's vitals, and Harrison examined Barry from his wheelchair while he thought silently to himself, _would they wake up at the same time? They seem to be in sync like computer programs working together. Never one with out the other…peanut butter and jelly…the moon and the sun…Romeo and Juliet…_

Barry groaned from the pain of the fall as he sat up, "I pass out again?"  
>"Yup," Doctor Snow informed, "Complete and total metabolic failure."<br>"So I'm not eating enough?" He figured out, "So I have an I.V bag and I'm good to go?"

As Barry turned around he saw many empty I.V bags hooked on a pole and his hopes dimmed a little bit.

"Try 40," Harrison informed as he took a sip of coffee from a mug, "Guess you were thirsty,"  
>Soon Barry realized who else was in his surroundings, his best friend-Sammie-was sleeping on the bed next to the one that had held him when he had fainted.<p>

"Sammie…" he questioned, "What's she doing here?"  
>"We don't know." Caitlin informed without even bothering to look at the woman, "I found her there after we ran that test on you and you fainted."<br>"Is she ok?" Barry asked, "Did you ask her to come?"

"No," Harrison eased, "By the looks of it she came here on her own accord."  
>"To sleep…"The flash pointed out.<p>

"Looks pretty exhausted to me," Harrison informed.

"Did guys try to wake her up?' Barry wondered as he stepped closer to his sleeping friend.

"I tried," Cisco informed, "But she wouldn't budge,"  
>Barry looked at Sammie as he went through many ways to try and wake her up without the pain at the end. Then after a moment he grinned and went to Sammie's side. His hand sneaked its way to her arm and his lips to her ear. He whispered choice several words in her, they were hardly above a whisper but that was enough to send his friend's eyes open in a panic. Sammie pushed Barry away and rolled over the side of the bed, landing on the cold tile floor.<p>

"I hate you," Sammie muttered as she stood up and brushed off imaginary dust off her cloths.

"No you don't," Barry chuckled, "You could never hate me."

"You're right," Sam informed, "But next time you say those things-I'll-"

"What did he say?" Cisco now asked curiously.

The woman shuddered, "You really don't want to know…anyway Barry-why don't you go to the lab-I'll meet you there?"  
>"What but-"<p>

"Barry-I've been nice for almost three days," Sammie reminded, "So get your ass to the lab before I drag you there myself."  
>My friend stood there and gritted his teeth-but still accepted my order. He nodded and left the lab.<p>

She looked at the doctors, "Oh come on-where are the question asking doctors I know and for the lack of a better word- do not love."  
>"Why are you here?" Caitlin wondered.<p>

"Two reasons,"

Technically if I wasn't lying to them it would be 3-but who's counting right?  
>"What happened to Barry?"<br>"He passed out from metabolic failure." She informed, "In other words-"

"He wasn't eating enough," I finished, "I'm a forensic scientist-not an idiot."  
>"Right," the doctor replied, "Anyway-we'll be putting you on the same as Barry since you two have roughly the same changes."<br>Not even going to question it.

"Anyway," Doctor Wells said, "What's the other reason?"

I sighed, "My parents asked me to ask you guys to come to the Thanksgiving thing we do…you don't have to come if you don't want to-don't let them guilt trip you into coming-but if you want to come you can-but if you don't want to that's fine."  
>Curse mom and dad for making me go and ask this, and as much as they know doctors are the bane of existence-they do it anyway. They say, 'it's the holiday-that's means you have to love and care for everyone.' My parents are just lucky that I still love no matter how times they've gone off the deep end. Family's gotta stick together I guess…no matter much pain and misery they put you through.<p>

Caitlin shrugged, "I'll go…where-"

"It's at Joe's place," I informed, "It's a long story-but Barry'll tell where to go."  
><strong>ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ<strong>

A good nights rest

That's what I needed.  
>It's so amazing what I can do when I actually have my beauty rest. Sleep is a beautiful thing really if you think about it. It allows you to be awake and alert throughout the day. You can do a lot of things when you're actually fully awake.<br>The colors of the world are brighter and vibrant. Even the dullest of them are happy. Every image is crisp and clear not blurry and pointless. I can see every little detail, all the accents, and everything is amazing.

Feeling refreshed I actually put on decent cloths and make-up, some perfume, ate an actual filling breakfast. And I was in a good mood-not feeling snappy or angry for no apparent reason. I can't actually wait for work-but first I have to Joe's and start the turkey.

**ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ**

Most of my day was very boring. I stared at my computer looking at the tiny clock in the corner-waiting for it to strike 2:00pm.

When it did I grabbed my purse and ran out to my car…Barry can carpool or run right?  
>…<p>

Knocking on the door I saw Iris answer and I smiled, "Hey,"

"Hey-Thanksgiving already huh," she pointed out.

I shrugged, "One of the days in the year I actually look forward too."

Iris smiled as she stepped out of my way, "Come on in,"  
>Instead of a thank I nodded and smiled and went to the kitchen. Taking off my jacket I placed it on one of the chairs, "Are my parents here yet?"<br>She shook her head.

"Where's Barry?"

"I don't know," Iris informed, "He called and said he'd be here for dinner."  
>Probably out saving the world again-I'll have to get the full story later. I just hope he arrives in time so that dinner isn't done. But-I hope-that if he does-he doesn't die or kill anyone in process. Barry has a way of feeling guilty of things that aren't exactly of his fault.<p>

And he has a way of hurting people without really knowing about it…for instance…his stepfather Joe…

It was when his father was arrested and put in Iron Heights for killing his mother. Barry wanted to go visit him but Joe refused…

"I want to go visit him!" Barry insisted.

Joe looked at him annoyed, "Barry, you can't."  
>"Why can't I?" He wondered, "He didn't do it! Why can't anyone see that?"<br>"Barry Allen," Joe warned, "I promised your father that I'd take care of you."

"But you're not my dad!" Barry pointed out, "And you'll never be! I hate you! I hate you Joe."  
>Even though those words were true they still stung. Joe was trying his best to take care of his daughter and Barry-but no matter how much he tried to connect with the boy he kept pushing him away. The only person Barry actually listened to was Iris-and most of the time Iris was the one lying to keep Barry out of trouble.<p>

But the words still hurt though…they threw a wrench in his heart and made him second guess what he did to try and help young Barry.

"Sammie," Iris called as she tried to get my attention, "Are you there?"

I nodded, "Huh-yeah…what's up?"

"Do you know what's going on with Barry?" She asks, "He's been acting so weird lately."  
>That's a very hard question to answer. I can't tell her the truth and lying to her is very hard-she is a political person and her boyfriend is a cop. Ha-she thought she was being sneaky-I bet even her father knows now.<p>

"Just things," I informed, "Don't worry about it-Barry can take care of himself and even if his is in trouble, I'll manage to get him out of it. "  
>Getting out the vegetables I started chopping and Iris and stood there and watched me, after a few seconds or so she asked me a question I didn't even think she knew.<p>

"Do you love Barry?"  
>The question startled me, I instantly stopped cutting and looked down my fingers, "What,"<br>"Do you like Barry?"  
>I do.<p>

I love him.  
>He's been the sunshine on my dark earth since the sun went out. He's been my smile and my humor. He's been my compassion and teacher. He's been my good luck and speed. He's been my hope and excitement. He's been everything and anything you can think of.<p>

I love him when he's being nerdy.  
>I love him when he's being annoying. (Most of the time)<br>I love him when he's being selfless and selfish.

I love him from head to toe, flaws and all.

"Uh…"

I felt the blood the rush to my face. I try to get words out but I fail miserably.

She smiled, "You do."

"W-what," I stammer, "I-I don't know what you're talking about."  
>"You," Iris pointed out, "Samantha Park-are in love with Barry Allen."<br>"So," I shrug, what's the point of saying no-once she on a point you can't tell her to stop, "What's the big deal?"  
>"You two are perfect for each other!" The woman informed, "You're both science geeks, you love all the same things and both of have the same obsessions."<p>

"And that is what makes us a 'perfect couple'?" I wondered, "Being a couple means you love each other no matter what they like, you love each other through the hard times and the good times. You're there for each other no matter what. The other person is your rock and your shoulder to cry on. The other person's arms are always open. You can get mad at each other, you call yell, scream, curse, insult, and through all of that you still can love each other."

"It isn't how alike people are," I pointed out, "Love is putting some else's needs before yours…but who even says Barry likes me back?"  
>"We can make him like you." Iris informed.<p>

I sighed, "I've tried-he doesn't see me at all. I'm just a friend to him."  
>A devious face was set on Iris as she took my head, "I'm going to fix that."<br>Help…

**ZZZZZZZZZZ**

To be honest I never thought I'd ever see the day where I'd be in Iris's room having a make over.  
>She waxed my eyebrows, my upper lip, and arms. Needless to say…ow very much ow, and where did she get this much wax? Where the hell did she get a machine to even heat up the wax? What are we on Ultimate Woman Makeover or something?<p>

"Are you done yet?" I wondered, getting annoyed.

Iris smiled as she looked through her closet, "Just a few more minutes,"

"You said that a half an hour ago." I pointed out.

As she pulled out single dress and dangled it in front of me, "Now we are almost done."  
>"A dress…have you been outside lately?" I wondered.<p>

"You wear skirts all the time." Iris pointed out.

"Long skirts and yoga pants," I corrected.

She noticed? I barely talk to her-I can't be around her and Barry without internally cringing. Does she not see the way he looks at her? His eyes light up around her and he smiles more. When he's around her, he constantly tries to impress her or talk her up. While I'm on the sidelines wishing he'd be doing that to me. But she's blind to his affections, I guess since they grew up together she only sees a brother in him.

"You see," she said, "That's why he doesn't notice you-you cover up too much."  
>There's no use to complaining anymore. Iris doesn't listen.<p>

But now…after all of this-I can't bring myself to hate her as much as I used to. After all she's done…maybe she isn't as bad as I thought. Maybe I let my jealous side go to far…because Iris may be a little nosy but she isn't a master mind villain by any stretch of the imagination.

"No it's because he loves someone else." I stated in a depressed tone.

"Not when he sees you." She informed as she fixed a hem on her dress.

"Why are you doing this for me?" I wondered.

We weren't really close-we both knew this.

"I saw what you were doing for Barry." Iris informed, "Ever since you've met him-you've been helping him haven't you."  
>I shrugged, "I made a promise…and I never break my promises."<p>

**ZZZZZZZZZZZ**

Everything was on the table, almost every person was here, mom, dad, Iris, Joe but the doctors had yet to arrived and Barry was also absent to this event.

"Did Barry tell you where he is?" Joe asked.

It took a sip of wine, "He told me he'll hopefully be here before the dinner is over."  
>"Yeah and how long was that ago?" He wondered.<p>

I shrugged, "Didn't check the time…hey mom who is that plus one you were talking about?"  
>My mother smiled, "They'll be here a few minutes Sammie-I can't wait for you to meet them."<br>Let's hope it's not a boy this time-last year she brought a random guy from off the street. She didn't even know his last name or how old he was. Needless to say…that was a horrible year.

But it's great to see her though; it's nice to see that she has gotten better. Ever since…well none of us have really recovered from that though.

Her old dark mousy brown hair had many strands of grey to break it up. Her once clear skin now sagged but it was still beautiful to me. But her amazing oak colored eyes still shined, they showed her pain and mourning, and her happiness and relief. I can still remember them crying non-stop after they told her the news…I remember dad holding her in his arms as his shocked blue eyes took the toll too.

I heard the door knock and I rose to answer it.

Opening it I saw four heads, three of them were doctors, and one of them was my best friend, she smiled, "Hey guys,"  
>A chorus of heys replied to me.<p>

"So who was threatening this city now?" I wondered.

"A guy who could make multiple clones of himself!" Cisco informed.

"Cool," I reported, "And what was he threatening to do?"

"Kill a guy who stole he research," Barry informed sadly.

"Didn't end well did it?" I assumed, "Did he fall from a height that is deadly?"  
>Barry looked away guiltily,<p>

I placed a hand on his shoulder, "Barry it wasn't your fault, don't blame yourself for what he did."  
>"But-"<p>

"Barry Allen," I cut off, "You can't save people who don't want to be saved."  
>Words to live by<p>

Letting them in I closed the door, we made it to the table before my phone rang. I picked it up and went into the kitchen, "Hello,"  
>"Sammie," a horse voice said on the phone, "We need your help."<br>"Hm," I wondered, "Who is this?"  
>"Felicity Smoak," she informed, "And please hurry."<br>"What is it?" I demanded, "What happened?"  
>I heard tears and sobs on the other end, "Felicity what happened?"<br>"Bring your forensic equipment," the crying woman said.

Drop everything and run.

That's what I wanted to do.

But then I looked over at my family and my extended family and I want to stay and celebrate…but when I heard the crying over the speaker I could find the will to plant my feet on the floor.

"Give me a few minutes," I said, "Stay where you are."  
>Hanging up I put my phone in my purse and as I went to the dinning room to announce my leavings another knock at the door signaled me to answer it-I guess that was my parent's plus one.<p>

Opening the door, I looked at a face I haven't seen for many years. A face that has haunted my dreams for all of my life, it's a face that reminded me everything I couldn't be. It reminded me of the shadow that follows me everywhere. It reminded me of all my mistakes and everything that if I had the choice-I'd do it all over again. The face brought sadness, anger, and mourning back to my heavy heart again. And it reminded me of the lie I have kept for all these years…and all people who have been affected because never had to courage to tell them.

That face belonged to my sister.

My _**dead**_ sister.

The only person who wouldn't let me save them.

**So...some bonding I guess...so did you like it?  
>I'll include more action next chapter-promise.<br>And there will be more Arrow too.  
>I can't wait to write the next one.<br>So yeah...stay awesome my friends-cupcakekiller12**


	3. You Just Ruined My Life Again

**Hey guys! Another chapter here! I hope you like it. Anyway disclaimer-I don't own Arrow or The Flash or anything related to them-I only own my ...so yeah-sit back...relax and enjoy the read-cupcakekiller12**

I looked back at my parents who were completely oblivious to what I was doing. Glancing back at my 'sister' I saw her smiling. She came up to hug me but I completely avoided her.

"Um-I have to go." I informed.  
>"But its Thanksgiving," she pointed out.<p>

"And I have a 9-1-1 call to answer," I stated, "If you're really my sister-which we'll discuss later in private-so if you are who you say you are-you'll know how to cover for me."  
>Brushing past the imposter I walked to my car-I'll drive it to some over night parking garage, I'll run the rest of the way, but as I did I was thrusted in a distant hazy memory.<p>

…

The visitor rode to the labs was blocked by brush and trees; it wasn't hard to move past the thorn covered limbs that prevented me from coming in. Since I was small and careful I could easily brush past them.

Making it past there was easy; following the path is a harder task. The path is faded grey pebble rock, it was cracked and old, and tree roots invaded it making the rode bumpy and easy to get hurt on. Every few hundred feet or so the path went away and all you were left with was a dark brown dirt. I've learned just to continue straight, after a little bit the rode comes back and you find your way again.

Next there is a small wall to ward off any curious visitors-but I am not just any curious visitor. As I pressed the black button and the high metal gates began to open. It happened earlier then usually-I think at this point everyone knows me and they don't question me coming here anymore. I know mom and dad don't but then again half the time I tell them I'm going to a friend's house.

Going to the facility I skipped the front desk and went to my sister's cell, I couldn't wait to tell her what was happening. She's going to freak when I tell her what happened at school.

When I found her she was in her glass cage again, the doctors were out doing tests and stuff.  
>"Layla," I smiled as I got closer to the door, "How're you doing?"<p>

Slowly she got up from her hospital like bed and walked to where I was at the glass. She looked so tired and weary. There were dark bangs under her eyes making her seem double her age. Layla was only 12, still young and full of promise. Yet her eyes told a story of hardship and fear.

Layla managed to give me a smile. It was a fake smile, and I knew it wasn't because it didn't reach her eyes. I knew she was happy to see me but she wasn't happy to be behind a glass wall being pricked with needles everyday. At first she didn't mind…but after 7 years behind the glass she came to hate it. Sure I came to visit almost everyday and our parents every once in a while…but Layla always talks about how she wanted to see it snow again, she wanted to see the clouds and the sun. My sister wants to see the blue sky and go to school and have a real birthday party.

I sighed, "You miss it, don't you?"  
>My sister nodded but didn't reply.<p>

I placed my hand on the cold glass, "I'm going to get you out of here. I promise."  
>Layla did the same and looked in my eyes, "Don't make promises you can't keep Sam."<br>"But I will," I pointed out, "Or I'll die trying."  
>We did keep that promise. But it wasn't me that held it…<p>

…

Entering the Arrow Cave I saw five people huddled around a large metal table, "Um…hi,"  
>Felicity exited to the huddle and over to me and sniffled, "Hey,"<br>"May I ask what happened?" I wonder.

"A friend of ours was murdered," she choked.

"Oh," I replied, "I'm sorry for your loss…is there something I can do to help?"  
>I don't know what I could do to help really. She's dead. Not like I can bring her back to death or anything.<p>

"Can you take a closer look at her?"  
>I shrugged, "I'm no M.E but I can look,"<br>Taking a step forward I look at the body of a perfectly healthy woman, maybe in her twenties or early thirties-but still very young. Well…she'd be perfectly healthy if she did have like 5 arrows I her stomach.

I felt her skin-it was lukewarm-but still getting colder. It was becoming more and more deathlike by the second. By the looks of her back it looks like she died from the fall not the arrows…even if she had survived the arrows-she would have died from her death fall.

Carefully I took out of the arrows; they were covered scarlet blood so that made it slightly hard to see. Opening my case I took out several things, one of the objects was to preserve the blood, another was a cloth to clean the arrows, and the others were plastic cloths to cover the body.

"Whoa, whoa, wait a minute," a girl said, "What the hell to you think you are doing?"  
>"Preserving the blood," I listed, "Taking out the arrows and covering the body."<p>

"Why are you doing that?" She wondered, "Who the hell are you?"  
>"Sammie Park," I informed, "Forensic scientist, I work for the CCPD and you are her sister I assume."<br>"Laurel Lance," she stated, "That is _my_ sister Sara."  
>I looked at her and then at her sister, "Did you see her die?"<br>Laurel nodded as tears rolled back her cheeks.

"How're you feeling?"  
>"Why are you asking me this?" She demanded.<p>

"Throw a stone into a pond and ripples form," I compared, "Death also has the same effect on people."  
>"How the hell can you even understand what it feels like?" Laurel asked, "Do you even have a sibling?"<br>That question threw a knife in my heart to hear that question. I didn't want to answer it but she needs an answer. I bit my lip to prevent myself from exploding on her. My scars hadn't healed from Layla-she was still in heart and in my mind everyday. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about what I could have done to see her again toady.

"I just thought I'd give some advice." I muttered in disgust, "Geez and I skipped Thanksgiving for this."  
>I know she lost her sister but did she have to be such a bitch about it? I'm just trying to help. I said sorry didn't I?<p>

Covering the body I looked at Oliver, Felicity, Roy, and Laurel, "Are there any family members that you want me to call to deliver the bad news?"  
>Laurel shook her head, "No I can do it."<br>"Better get it done and over with," I offered, "Because once you push it off-it's never getting done."  
>She thinks she's alone. She thinks nobody knows what she is going through. The woman lost her only sister and she's trying to understand that her loss or what's she's going through. Laurel is trying to comprehend that her sister is gone. She's trying to cope her own way…and I guess that means being rude to other people.<p>

"Take it from someone who's learned it the hard way," I said, "Some truths will hurt…but it's better to know them then to learn them when you're at highest point."  
>I started walking away, "I've got to go. Call me if I can help with anything."<p>

On that note I ran…and tried to forget the past many past years of mourning, pain, and reminders. I tried to forget everything that I saw and felt when I saw when my sister died. I tried to forget my childhood, I tried to forget all the bad times which back then seemed to be all the time.

…but I couldn't…I couldn't forget the scarlet blood that pooled onto my hands as I saw my sister die. I couldn't forget the life drain out of her caramel eyes. I'll never forget the moment when I felt her heart stopped…I never forget the moment when she stopped breathing or when she tried to say goodbye. I'll never forget her death…because it's the time in my life that I can't block out. Every time I close my eyes…every time I think of her…every time I see a picture of her… I relive the moment of her…and my heart crumbles over and over again.

Because I couldn't save her…because she wouldn't let me save her…because I was too scared to move in front of the way…she's dead.

**ZZZZZZZZZ**

When I got the Joe's house I stopped at the door. I looked at the entrance; it's the first time I don't want to enter. It's the first time I'm scared to open the door to the house I found salvation in. I don't want to see the face of dead sister. I don't want to remember that night-I don't want to remember the hell I had after it.

But my shaking hesitant hand slowly grabbed the metal handle and twisted it. I only opened it a crack, examining the terrain-were they still here? Please tell me it ended early so that I don't have to face Layla tonight. Please don't let them be here-please don't-

"Ah-she's here," a voice says.

Oh no…

Closing the door behind me I took my time walking to the table, in fact I wished that I had taken more time getting here or spend more time with Oliver's gang.

"Hey," mom smiled, "Look who's back?"  
>No one got out of their chair to come and greet me, their eyes just followed me as I went to go sit down.<p>

"So did your friend get what he needed?" Mom asked.

Where was she going with this?  
>"Hm," I questioned as I poured whine into my glass, "No she needed some help with something."<br>"Sounded much more urgent to me," Layla chuckled.

"Again it was a she," I informed, "And we're just friends anyway-she just needed some help with something."  
>"What was it?" My 'sister' persisted.<p>

"None of your business," I dismissed, "…so what did I miss?"  
>"Layla was going to ask how our life had changed when she left." Mom said.<p>

"So how was it?" She continued.

Terrible

Absolutely terrible

Mom and dad broken from Robert's death…they couldn't stand to loose anther.  
>So when Layla went missing everything that had been ok for a while…quickly went down hill fast.<p>

My parents went from loving each other to despising, the only thing that they did together was drink and even that was a toxic mixture…

…

"Shut up woman," my father ordered.

"This is all your fault!" She yelled.  
>"How is it my fault?" He questioned as his voice leveled rose, "You're the one who wanted to send her to that laboratory!"<br>Guilt knifed through my heart as I listened to their conversation from the top of the staircase. They were going at it again. Since Layla had 'gone missing', according to the news, their relationship had gotten a little rocky. Oh what the hell…at this point they'd be better off getting a divorce then staying together.

From what I've heard-all they've done is drink and scream at each other, blaming the other person for what happened…but it's neither of their faults…it's mine for trying to be a hero. I tried to get her out of that horrible place and look where it got her…dead in an un-marked grave.

"Then why didn't you stop me?" Mom wondered angrily, "If she wasn't at that damn laboratory-she'd still be here and so would he!"  
>"How dare you blame our son's death on me? It's his damn fault!" Dad screamed.<p>

I curled up into a ball.

_Please stop fighting…please, _I thought to myself, _I need you…please stop fighting…_

They still have me-why can't they see that? Why can't they see they have me, I'm alive. I'm alive.

"I'm alive," I said to myself.

But I'm dead on the inside.  
><strong>…<strong>

Bringing myself out of the memory, I repeated the question in my mind, _how was it_?

Life sucked.

I had lost my sunshine. I lost my hope and happiness. Layla was the thing that I woke up everyday for. She was the thing I always looked forward to. Layla the person who pushed me on and kept me on my toes, even when she was feeling terrible…she still gave a smile.

When she died…it was like my whole world had just gone dark. It just started crumbling in my hands and the faster I tried to fix it-the faster it fell down around me. The center of my universe was claimed by death…and I was left alone in the world.

Afraid and alone

Miserable and broken

Scarred and without any help

Everyday was new challenge and fear to over come.

"Um," I started, "Uh…it was a rocky rode I guess you could say…"  
>Rocky…<em>rocky<em>?

It was tornado alley.

Everyday for 5 years my mom fought my dad.  
>Every third day of the week-they forced me to go to therapy.<br>Every Friday they forced me to go a stupid support group…not that I went to that every time though.

They thought something was wrong with me-when something was wrong with them. They tried to put a label on my when they all I needed was a hug and reassurance from the people who raised me. All I needed was a shoulder to cry on and a friend who isn't a teacher, or a therapist…I wanted my mom and dad back…that's all I wanted. That's all I needed-not some one who kept asking me why I missed my sister.

"So which one of you gave up on me first," Layla wondered.

The whole table went silent and everyone began to play with their food or their utensils. Nobody wanted to admit it. Nobody wanted to raise their hands and say it.

I sighed, "I did."  
>Looking everyone had their eyes glued on me, "It was easier to say you're dead then and mourn for you and move on-then think you're alive and never know if you're ever going to come back."<br>I'm not ashamed of saying that I did because I know she's dead. I know that she's gone because I'm the one that held her when she was passing away. I'm the one buried her in the woods. I'm the one who kissed on the forehead and said goodbye. I'm the one who remembered her in the best way possible!

They're the ones who just couldn't let go of her. They're the ones who couldn't get over that she was gone and acted as if she was still alive. I honored her and let her go. I let her move on and all they did was put on posters with her face and hoped that someone would some and say they're her.

At least I was man enough to say it…and they were just too childish to even accept she was gone.

**ZZZZZZZZZZZ**

It was the end of the night and my parents and the doctors had left to go home.

Barry was getting ready to leave and Iris had gone upstairs to get changed. Joe was picking up the plates and food and putting it on the counter next to me.

"So that was your sister?" He said, "I remember that case…but we-"

"Couldn't find her," I finished, "I know…I know-I lived that case for 4 years. I memorized that missing poster-Layla Katie Park, brown hair, brown eyes, went missing on April 13, 1997. Last seen at the doctor's office, call 320-978-0124 if you have any tips or have seen her."  
>Putting the last dish in the washer I looked at my 'sister'.<p>

She looked roughly the same…but different.

Layla always wore long sleeves; she had scars on her arms and legs from all the needles and experiments they preformed on her. She also had bangs under her eyes from exhaustion and lack of sleep. Her skin was always a pale, almost grey tone from staying inside for so many years unable to see the sun.

Today she looks years younger then she used to. Her long dark wavy brown hair fell down to her chest, she wore a black jacket with white lining and zipper. She had a white blouse and khaki pants. You're barely able to see her deep scarlet shoes that made her and inch or so taller.

The woman looks like my sister, she talks like my sister, she acts like my sister…but she isn't my sister. I know Layla…and she isn't her. My parents may be convinced but I am _far_ from it.

**ZZZZZZZZZZ**

I had a nightmare when I fell asleep.

It was about that night…the night she…

The alarms blared in our ears as panic and worry rose in us. We clung to each other as we tried to find a way out of this maze of halls.

I knew the way out…but that was through the visitor entrance and they already blocked the way there. The rest of the halls were unfamiliar to me, just a bunch of white tiles of walls reflecting me and my sister.

Footsteps echoed all around us, I couldn't tell where they were coming from. It was as if they were coming from every direction.

Yells reverberated off the walls as so did our cries of terror. We were going to die in here. We were never going to make it back…

Suddenly loud shots pierced our ears, and my sister moved in front of me. Her body jolted backwards as a dark liquid spilled out on to her white hospital cloths. For a moment she stood there, almost as if all the energy were drained from her.

"LALYA," I screamed.

At that moment I woke up,

My heart was racing as tears fell from my face, my fear turned to sadness as I sobbed into my hands.

My sister was the one who haunted my dreams.

They may be fake to some…but to me…

They're all too real.

**ZZZZZZZZZZZ**

Arrows

There are so many fricken arrows on the internet. Big ones, small ones, toy soldier ones, arrows for toys that are ment for kids-the results seem endless. But I'm not just looking for any kind of arrow-I'm looking for one that killed a vigilante, more specifically-Oliver's friends/friend's sister. But to be honest I think he used to be her boyfriend…but that's just between me, myself, and I.

_Ok…instead of searching for a certain arrow…why don't I look for similar cases?  
><em> No

Nope

Not even close

How is that even a case?  
>This doesn't even involve archery.<p>

After two hours of just searching I gave up…there were no other close cases like Sara-a few were alike in some matter-but the arrows didn't match and the motive weren't alike.

"Oh why do people make my job so hard?" I muttered.

"Hm," a familiar voice wondered, "So this is where you nerds work…"  
>Layla…<p>

I can't lie, at first glance I want to run up and hug her. I want to hold her close and sob into her shoulder and say how much I missed her and how much I longed for her to be here.

But then my memory stops me and makes me remember how she died and when she died. It's a detail that is permanently engraved into my mind, no matter how much I want to forget it ever happened. It's a day I'll never be able to erase like my parents…because I can't…I'm the one who has to carry the burden no matter the cost.

"At least I can say I'm a nerd," I pointed out, "Have you been through college yet?"  
>Layla nodded, "Yes actually-I'm a Computer Science major-and you?"<br>"Forensic Science," I informed gesturing to the room, "Why else would I be here?"

"Oooh-so you're like the sexy scientist-oh is Barry your assistant?" My 'sister' wondered, "Oh are you two together-"

"Whoa-slow down." I ordered, "Yes Barry is my assistant and no we're not together."  
>"Yet," Layla pointed out.<p>

As much as I wish we were.

"No," I said, "He doesn't like me-"

"Not yet though," she informed, "Why do you have to be just a downer?"  
>That's when Barry walked in…with Caitlin Snow-oh…this is going to be a ball isn't it?<br>"Doctor Snow," I greeted, "Barry-nice to see you."

Glancing over at Layla a hidden mask of terror and fear formed on her face as she took a few steps behind me. She tried to hide her terror. She was scared of doctors? Sure Layla didn't like them…but she was forced to get along with them. No matter how much she hated them or despised them-she learned very early don't bite the hand that feeds you.

"Sammie," Caitlin nodded.

A hand latched around my wrist and started to lead me out of the room, "Hey-why don't we go to the mall? We could use the time to catch up."

I tried to pull away but her grip was too tight. I could have used my speed-but there is a time and place for everything and this is neither one.  
>"Hey-what," I started, "I have work to do-hey let go."<br>But no…I guess my 'sister' had other plans.

…**.**

We were walking through the mall when Layla brought up the sensitive subject of my parents, "So what did you mean by 'rocky' the other night?"  
>I shrugged, "It wasn't exactly smooth,"<br>Anything but smooth-it was mountainous terrain without trails to find your way.

"What did they do?" She wondered.

They forgot about me.

All they could think about was themselves and Layla. All my parents did was talk about the Layla and how that she can still be alive. They cut me out of their family…it was like as if I didn't even exist really…it was like I was shouting in a sea of chaos trying to get their attention-but they couldn't hear me.

Everyday it seemed like they faded more and more away from who they really were. It was like I was loosing them over night and there was nothing I could do about it. I was too scared to…with all the yelling and fighting, I was too frightened to even go downstairs while they were home.

For a few months all I could hear from the main level of my house was threats, glass smashing, crying, and doors slamming. At all there as in the fridge was cheap beer, some bread, water, and cheese. Half the time-I was the one who bought the food, cleaned the sheets and cloths, picked up the shards of glass, and got new cloths for myself. Most the time I went to Wal-martand GoodWill…because in walking distance-they were the closest. It only took me by bike around 45 minutes to get to them.

But it's not like they were exactly accepted by my appearance…

90% of the of time the cashiers didn't really care-they asked where my parents are and I'd say in the car or waiting by the exit and they'd shrug it off…but sometimes I wasn't so lucky. They'd call security or the police and my off the wall parents weren't exactly happy to see me. Considering they'd had just gotten home and halfway into their alcohol for the day-they were less then thrilled to hear their last child had gotten taken by Child Services. Needless to say I've saved their parental rights countless of times even though…by the end I'm not even sure if they wanted to be parents any more.

I could have said that…I could have revealed how horrible my parents actually were…but-

"They were lost for a couple of months," I said, "Didn't really know what to do…but after a year or so they got out of it."  
>So…not…true…<p>

"They never stopped looking for you," I informed, "They never lost hope…"  
>That was almost a sad statement-like as if it were better if they knew she was dead…but every time I try and say that she's gone…I can't-I can't see them break all over again.<p>

"They forgot my birthday," I chuckled almost.

They forgot my birthday 3 times in a row…and they also forgot about Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, Halloween, but they didn't forget about St. Patrick's Day…mainly because they could drink as much as they wanted on that day.

"But other then that I guess…it was ok,-" I said

Such a lie…man I'm becoming too good at this…

We passed a dress store and Layla became interested in, "Go ahead-I have to go to the bathroom anyway."  
>"Great-I'll call you-"<p>

"You don't have my number."  
>"Our parents gave it me," she informed as waved her smartphone at me, "See you later,"<br>Turning away I thought silently to myself, _she isn't my sister and those aren't her parents_.

I walked to the glass walled elevator with a woman. I barely glanced at her-but from one look I knew who she was.

She was a judge, the judge who tried to take me away from my parents to be exact.

"Didn't know you went to the mall Judge," I said not looking at her.

"Everyone does Samantha," she pointed out, "And I'm here for my daughter to get her a dress."

I chuckled, "What a nice mother…wish I had one like that when I was her age."  
>"Knew you lied," The judge muttered.<p>

"Yet-they're still my parents," I informed giving her a small smile, "whose fault is that?"  
>That's a good question…is it the liar's fault for not telling the truth or is the person believing the lie at fault?<br>The metal doors started to close but a large hand stopped them, at first I thought it was Layla but the hands belonged to a man. A bald man who looked like he had just stepped out from the hands of death, he looked at the judge who seemed shocked to see him.

The doors locked him in; we were all alone together in a 10x10 square foot box…this is bound to end well isn't it?

"Y-you died," The judge pointed out.

"Hm-you say that like it was an accident," the man informed.

I sighed…do I have to be the hero today?

"Remember what you said to me before the execution?" The creepy man wondered, "May God have mercy on _your _soul."  
>I stepped in front of the judge, "Hey buddy-come on-the woman was just doing her job."<br>"Samantha-"

Before she could finished her sentence the man before me started to turn into a ghostly green mist. It started to surround me like a blanket and I couldn't see out of it. The mist felt like it was trying to suffocate me from the inside out. I began to cough and go towards the window; I pounded on the glass as my lungs began to burn.

I couldn't breathe…that's all I could think of…I couldn't breathe. Every time I tried to take air, a block formed and all I did was make noise. My panic level rose for each second I stood there and no oxygen was delivered to my lungs.

I felt like someone had shoved a cork down my through and was holding it there with an invisible force. Falling to me knees I bent over-attempting to clear the block that way but failing tremendously.

_Breathe…breathe god damn it-BREAHTE! _

How long had it been? Seconds...minutes-hours? For Christ sake-I'm dying here! Where the hell is anyone? Barry, the police, mall security-heck even Layla would make a difference here!

_Help…please…anyone…please…_

I clenched my hands and pounded them on the floor as I struggled to breathe.

Suddenly as if the word didn't hate me-a voice asked, "Sammie-Sammie-are you alright?"

"C-can't…breathe," I said, "I-I can't breathe!"

Strong arms picked me up and then all I saw was the blur of the world. I saw all the colors of everything crash together like a rainbow. There was no difference between the blues and reds, the pinks and purples-the grey and the black-all of them blurred into one magnificent shade of speed.

Soon I could see the outlines of the city, of people, cars, but all of them went away in a blink of an eye. Because then everything because clear and clean-a little smudgy at the edges but I could still see that I was at S.T.A.R labs-the home of the failed Particle accelerator.

Breathing had become more of a task now. It was painful and hard-slow and excruciatingly agonizing. I could barely lift my arms let alone move my head. This was a time that I actually wished I had a doctor to help me-that one of their faces that still send cold shivers down my spine.

I heard heels, wheels, and footsteps usher towards me.

"Sammie what the hell happened?" Caitlin demanded.

"I-I'd…tell you…if I could-…breathe…r-right now…" I struggled to say.

_Oxygen…I need Oxygen…_

Gas…

Is that was Barry was analyzing but needed a fresh samples?  
>I grabbed Caitlin's hand, "You have to cut me open."<br>"What-"

"The…gas-it's in my lungs…" I informed.

"She brought us a fresh sample," Harrison said and then ordered to Caitlin to do some sort of biopsy to extract a portion of the gas.

"But we can't-she,"

Caitlin started but cut her off by yelling, "JUST DO IT!"  
>Quickly grabbed a needle and showed it to me, "I can't give you any anesthetic-you're metabolism will burn right through it."<br>"It's not that big," Cisco assured, "Won't even feel it,"  
>"You'll definitely feel it," Doctor Snow pointed out as she gave me a concerned look.<p>

"Don't worry…" I said, "I've been through worse."  
>She gritted her teeth as she stabbed the four inch needle into my lungs.<p>

At the moment I took my last breathe of fresh air before the world spiraled into a dark abyss.

**ZZZZZZZZZZZZ**

A soft beeping noise was the first thing I heard when I first woke up.

Opening my eyes I saw Cisco leaning over me, he smiled, "And she survives,"  
>"Please," I muttered, "Poison gas isn't going to the end of me."<br>My body hadn't fully healed from my previous experiences; it still felt like I was breathing through bruised lungs. Or I had cracked ribs-those suck also.

"So what were you doing at the mall?" Harrison wondered.

I shrugged, "Layla dragged me there after seeing Caitlin."  
>"Scared of doctors," he said, "So did you get it from her?"<br>More like I got it _because _of her…

"You could say that…"  
>It's not that I don't like doctors…it's just that I'm scared of them. Every time I see one-I keep seeing someone else. I keep seeing them hurting me like they did Layla. Every time I enter a hospital I see the glass change my sister was kept in and experimented on. I can't look at anyone with doctor in their title the same. I see the monsters that killed my sister…not the people who want to help me and make me all better.<p>

"But at least I have a physical without freaking out," I pointed out.

"Sammie," Harrison wondered as I stood up, "Can I ask you a question?"  
>I nodded.<p>

"Why weren't you happy to see your sister?" Doctor Wells asked.

Because she's dead, how many times do I have to say this?

"I used to dream about having her back." I informed, "I'd watch the door and hope that she'd be the one to walk through it. Now…it's sort of scary. It's like seeing a ghost." I said.

Expect way worse.

**ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ**

My phone rang in the middle of a four way conversation between mom, dad, Barry, and Layla. I sat in the outer circle and every once in a while I'd try to sneak in but they'd shut me out before I could get a sentence in. So I guess this is what it felt like being the third wheel…must suck to people when Barry and I are going all science talk on people.

Taking my phone I went out into the hallway for some privacy, but lets face it-I don't think anyone was paying attention to me, "Hello,"

"Hey," Felicity started, "I was wondering if you had anything on that arrow you took."  
>"I do-but it's not necessarily informative." I said.<p>

"Can you just tell me please," the hacker begged.

Looking over at the small group of people I sighed and thought for a moment, "Just wait a minute I'll come to you."  
>And so off I went-running to the rescue yet again.<p>

Will I ever learn to just say no?

…**.**

Arriving at the arrow cave I saw Roy sitting in the corner doing…whatever it is he does. He did look rather depressed though as he examined his arrows. I wish I could say it was going to be alright, like I do to Barry when he's upset. I wish I could just give him a hug and a smile say that he'll get over it some day…but that would be a lying wouldn't it?

Felicity was over at her computer, when she glanced over at me I gave her a small wave and walked over to her. She knitted her hands together and pursed her lips before taking a deep breathe in to brace for the news to come, "So what did you find?"  
>"The arrows are custom made." I informed, "And they can't be traced to any company that makes arrows-and from any archery cases that have been reported…there a few that look strikingly similar but none of them have the same arrow types or M.O."<p>

She clenched her teeth as her eyes lost their light. I saw her hands grip tightly on each other as she let out a sigh of depression.

"You know it's alright to be angry." I pointed out, "Some guy killed your friend and somebody's sister, throw a desk, break a pencil, stomp your foot,"  
>"I'm sorry," Felicity apologized but then sighed, "Why am I apologizing?"<br>"Don't worry," I said, "Sometimes it's the after shock that gets you."  
>That's so true-sure it hurt when Layla died…but it wasn't until a few months afterwards that it actually hit me. It was like running into a brick wall-you don't even see it coming. It looks like it is miles away and then BOOM you are on your back with bruises, cuts, broken ribs, and a heavy heart ready too burst. It's at that moment you finally break-not when they die.<p>

"So how is Laurel doing?" I ask, "Seemed like she was the one who took the hardest hit."  
>"She's in mourning," Roy called out from the back, "What do you expect."<br>"There's a difference between mourning and anger." I informed, "And there's a difference between anger and revenge."  
>The feeling of revenge never consumed me. There were a few moments when I really just wanted to sneak into someone's house and strangle them-but never actually would I really do it. But losing someone close to your heart can change a person-no matter how nice or caring they are. Everything has its toll…everything has a price-and it's just a matter of time before someone has to pay it.<p>

"So why'd you come?" Felicity wondered.

"It's complicated," I said.

"I know complicated," Felicity pointed out, "It can't be that hard to understand."  
>"Trust me," I assured, "Even I'm still confused on the details and I was there."<br>Even though sometimes I wish I wasn't, sometimes I wish I could be as oblivious and happy to my sister again like my parents. Sometimes I wish that I could just be clueless and not know she's dead. I wish I could go to sleep and dream that she's still alive somewhere and happy…but I know she's gone…and in a better place.

Even though Felicity tried to convince me to spill my secret…I couldn't…because I know some things are better left unspoken.

**ZZZZZZZZZZ**

Layla and I were alone in my apartment sitting on the opposite sides of my couch. There was an awkward moment of silence between us. None of us wanted to speak or talk because we knew that speaking would ruin the peace held there by the absence of sound.

I put my elbow on the arm of the couch and twisted my head to see her again. She did look like Layla…a lot and when I saw her-I can't help but feel my heart begin to lighten again. And sometimes I think that maybe it's better this way…maybe it's better that my parents believe that Layla is alive…maybe everything will go back to the way it was or should be.

But then I think-what they find out? What if they see through the mask of this pretending actress and know it isn't their flesh and blood. What if they break all over again and it'll be up to me again to try and fix their shatter glass hearts? What if this plan of this imposter goes south and takes me down with it?

To take my mind off of all the situations that could wrong I turned on the T.V and the soap opera was on again.

"Oh I love this show," my 'sister' informed.

That's not right…Layla hated T.V it gave her false hope. She'd only watch the news to see what was going on-she never watched reality T.V or cartoons…only when I watched it with her would she tolerate it.

I was going to introduce to her when we escaped. I would have shown her all the stuff I watched and hope she'd like it to…but we never got to do that unfortunately.

At that moment I turned it off and looked at her,

"Why are you lying to them?" I wondered.

"What," she wondered.

"Why are you lying to everyone?" I repeated.

The imposter tried to hide her shock, "I don't know what you're talking about."  
>"You don't think I remember you?" I dared, "You think just because I was eight I don't remember?"<p>

"I seriously don't know what you are talking about." She said.

"Don't lie to me Carly." I hissed as we were both thrown back into a deep memory.

…**.**

Yes-finally-it's the weekend.

School won't tell me what to do till Monday!  
>Oh I can't wait to see Layla! She said she's show me something cool. I wonder what it is. Will it be another power? Or is it something she found?<p>

"Layla," I called as I entered the facility I saw her in her glass cage.

She looked a little happier then the last time I saw her. Her eyes have a certain light to them. They seemed to glisten a little bit more and allow happiness to shine through them. When she smiled it was a true smile and I could see that through all the pain she has been through-her heart hadn't been damaged in the process.

"Hey Sammie," Layla smiled as she stood up and came to glass wall, "How are you doing?"  
>I shrugged, "Good I guess…how're you doing?"<br>"Better…" she informed, "I have a new roommate."  
>"Really," I wondered, "who?"<br>A girl with long red hair and glistening blue eyes stepped before me. She looked like lost and confused like as if she really didn't belong here. _She must be new here…_I thought to myself. Probably just got here by the looks of her bands, anyone who arrives in less then a year gets a green band with other information on a white strip. People who have been in the Labs for a year or more will have a red band with their information on yellow strip of paper.

"This is Carly," Layla informed gesturing to the girl, "She got here a week ago."  
>I smiled and waved, "It's nice to meet you Carly-I'm Sammie."<br>And after that-things were never the same.

…

"How did you know?" Carly wondered annoyed.

"Layla died before this show came out." I informed, "And she hated reality T.V."  
>The girl sighed, "Layla was always the serious one wasn't she?"<br>"Why are you dressing as her?" I wondered, "What happened to being you?"

Carly's glare pierced through me, "You think you're the only one who missed her? I lived with her for 3 years. You were barely 5! How could you possibly even understand the bond we had!"  
>"I knew you two were like sisters!" I pointed out as my voice level rose, "But why would you masquerade as her? Why would you lie to everyone who loved her and make them thick she's alive?"<br>Tears started escaping her eyes, "I wanted her to be alive. I needed her to be alive."

"Well so did I!" I yelled, "Do you have any idea how hard it was to live with my parents afterward? I was the one who made sure we didn't starve! I was the one who had to act like the adult! Ever since Layla died I was the one who had to worry about everything! I lost a good half of my childhood."

"I've forgotten myself!"

A moment of silence and I didn't know what I say.

"I forgot myself." She repeated.

I sighed and replied quietly, "Didn't we all…"  
>"I can't even remember what I looked like back then." Carly cried as she pointed to herself, "I've been Layla for so long-I don't even know how to change back-Sammie…I can't back."<br>"…You had long red-almost orange hair." I informed, "And ocean blue eyes that could even make the starry night look boring. You were up to Layla's shoulder at that age-I was up to your chest. You had a perfect smile and skin-but after a year or so you started to cover up just like my sister."  
>Going to the entry table I opened the drawer I unearthed many opened cards, bills, junk mail, some magazines that I haven't even bothered reading. Underneath the heaping pile that I manage to squeeze into that small space there was a white envelope that looked like it had been opened before and looked at several times but had been neglected for several years.<p>

Picking it up I brought it over to Carly who still had a mystified look on her face.

Opening the envelope I saw several photos that I hadn't looked at since my first year helping the CCPD. I looked at them on that day to remind me why I went into the job. I guess it was my ritual or something…I looked at them to push me to do my best. Is that weird? I guess…

Searching through the pictures I found the one of her standing behind the glass cage that made her who she was today.

Carly, in the photo, didn't have a smile on-in fact she looked angry. I bet if she could have-she would have broken down that glass. That I wouldn't have blamed her for…can you image looking at the world through a glass wall? Just only being able to see it from a distance or a computer? I know I'd go insane after a while.

Handing it to her she scanned it over and over again-trying to understand that, that was her when she was younger.

"You have no sample?" She wondered, "No D.N.A sample or hair strand or skin sample?"

"You don't need a sample." I pointed out, "It's you-you just need to remember how to go back to it."  
>"But-"<p>

"Carly…just try,"  
>Gritting her teeth she did and close her eyes but for some reason I stopped her, "Wait,"<br>"What-what is it now?"  
>I picked up my phone and took a picture, "Sorry-I just wanted to see what she'd look like if she had…you can continue now."<br>Looking at the photo I saw her trying, I saw her concentrating on trying to imagine herself as her normal self…but something was blocking that change from happening. It wasn't physical…it was mental.

"I can't-"

"Carly," I said softly as I took a step forward, "You can't hang on to her forever…you can't depend on her to be there…let her go-let Layla go."  
>She nodded then took a deep breath in and closed her eyes.<p>

I knew that it was hard to let her go. I knew that losing her was anything but easy…but life moves on…life continues-it doesn't stay still. You have the choice to let it harden you or to make yourself impervious to the blows it gives you.

But all it takes is one slip up…

One mistake…

One accident…

On incident that you had the best intentions but it ended in a travesty.

And then the world around you just starts to disappear…

Soon I saw her hair switch to that lovely orange-red consistency and her amazing sapphire eyes that can shine through the dark night. She shrank slightly, but only a few inches-making her slightly shorter then I am.

Carly smiled with her perfect two perfect rows of white teeth, "It worked."  
>I nodded, "Yeah…yes it did."<br>"Great," she smiled, "Thank you so much."

Without asking she embraced me with warm arms,

I don't like hugs much…even though I bear with them. They hand your face from others-they hide your sadness or anger. That's how I managed to survive these many years.

"Now can you do me a favor?" I wondered.

"Anything,"

"Please leave," I begged, "Before my parents see you like this."  
>"Sure," the crystal blue eyed red head said, "Sure…let's get packing shall we?"<br>**ZZZZZZZZZZ**

At the air port I followed Carly to the gate.

She chose the ticket but I purposely didn't want to know where she wanted to go so if my parents ask questions I can shoot them down without harboring a secret. Even though I know they won't take this news lightly and the situation I will be in will get worse before it gets better…it'll get way worse before it gets better-oh boy-it'll be really bad before it even gets to ok.

"Goodbye," She said as she stood at the gate.

"I'll see you," I informed.

She cranked her hand confused, "What,"  
>"Goodbyes are forever," I stated, "And I'd like to think this won't be the last time we'll see each other."<br>The red head smiled, "Then I guess before I leave I should give you this."  
>In her hand was a purple flashdrive, I had never seen it before-had she had this all this time? What was on it? Why was she giving me it?<br>"You have to tell them Sammie." She pointed out, "Because they'll never stop searching for her."  
>I sighed as she placed it in my hand, "I know."<br>"So-I guess I'll see you later Alligator." Carly smiled as she turned around.

"Yeah-in a while crocodile…"  
>I used to say that to Layla when I'd leave the labs-it was our thing you could say…I haven't said that since she died. Call it stupid-but it just never had the same meaning when she left. They were just…words…nothing more. But when Carly said it…maybe I've been avoiding things too much. Maybe is should let go like she did...and be happy…not just stand around waiting for something to happen.<p>

Speaking of Carly…when she left…I sort of felt that she left a hole in my heart. That even if she wasn't my sister…she made an impression on me, even though I thought I prevented that from happening but…I guess human nature took control.

I'll miss her…but I won't say I'll think about her often.

Looking down at the flashdrive I sighed…it's time to be bearer of bad news.

**ZZZZZZZZZZ**

I sat at the table drinking my coffee as Barry walked in.

"Hey Sammie," he smiled as sat down, "What's up-where's Layla?"

I sighed and looked down at my cup, "Barry there are some things that I haven't been fully honest on and you deserve to know the truth."  
>The happy smile turned into a concerned one as he cocked his head, "What do you mean?"<p>

"I've lied." I informed, "I've lied to you, my parents, and many others in my life and now I am ready to come clean."  
>Yes.<p>

And nobody is going to like it.

**And here we are-at the end of the chapter.  
>Did you like it? I had fun writing it. Anyway I'd like to thank everyone who has favorite this story and followed it, and <span><em>Female whovain<em> for commenting. Anyway-the next chapter will hopefully be up by or after or around Christmas or New Year's.  
><strong>**Speaking of which if it's not-Happy Holidays' people hope you have fun. ****Anyway! Stay awesome my friends-cupcakekiller12**


	4. Some Truths Are Worse Then The Lie

**Hey-what's up guys? A new chapter again. I really want to do a Christmas thing for this story but I don't know if I'll be able to get it up in time. So yeah again the disclaimer is in the first few chapters. Anyway sit back, relax and enjoy the read-cupcakekiller12**

Lies

We all tell them.

All of us lie to our parents at one time or another-whether it be about homework, relationships, being sick or not-it happens ok. All of us do it. Most of it isn't really important-just small things. Not like, _hey mom and dad-you know my sister-your daughter, was murdered and has been dead for 17 years? Funny right?  
><em> They were going to kill me when they found out. I don't mean figuretivly-they are going to _kill_ me when they figure out their favorite child is dead and I knew the whole time-yet I never told them. Until now I never had the courage to, I figured what you don't know can't kill you. But not knowing is hurting them more then it is beneficial.

Thinking back I know that it was wrong and probably a horrible decision to not tell them about Layla…but I was scared. I was scared for me and my parents. They broke down when they got word they didn't find her at the site. It was like seeing a ball of yarn unravel but no matter how fast you try to wrap it back up again-it's impossible…and I couldn't fix it. That's the reason why I couldn't tell them…why I wouldn't tell them. If they knew the piece of fractured glass that was their heart would shatter into a million pieces that I couldn't put back together again.

But even if it was wrong…I wouldn't fix it.

I wouldn't have met Barry the way I did. He wouldn't have been the changing point in my life. Barry wouldn't have been the friend to me he is today. I wouldn't have fallen in love in with him…and I wouldn't have changed everything to follow him.

Speaking of Barry-

"What do you mean you've been lying to me?" He wondered.

I sighed and bit my lip, taking a deep breath I looked him straight in the eyes, "Yes I have been lying…I've been lying to mostly everyone."

His happiness to see me went to disgust, "What,"  
>It pained my heart to see his crystal blue eyes pierce through me with a glare.<p>

"Listen before you judge," I ordered as I took a sip of my coffee, "It's about Layla-not everything I've said about her is true."  
>"Then explain it to me before I walk straight out that door." Barry commanded as he pointed at the glass door.<p>

"As you know it-Layla went missing." I pointed out, "No one knows where she went or if she was taken-"

"And," Barry interjected.

"I know where she went." I stated as I tried to hide my eyes from his icy blue beams of light, "I know who took her."

"Where is she?" He demanded, "Who took Layla?"

"Death took her," I informed, "She's been with lying with death for 17 long years."  
>Those words hung in the air like balloons floating; they stayed with Barry for a few minutes. He just sat there lost in a daze not knowing say. Those blue eyes once filled with caring and friendship were now entranced with distrust and anger. It broke my heart to see them carry such emotions…because I've never been on the other side of his glare or his hate. We've always cared for each other like brother and sister…now I feel like an enemy with a friend's face.<p>

In a moment of pure rage he stood up and walked out, not saying a word to me. But he didn't have to say anything…I had crossed a line.

I crossed a line that I had set-

-and he was the one who was punishing me for it.

**ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ  
><strong>I left the hotel room with more damage to me physically then mentally.

My leg was probably somewhere near broken, my skull felt like someone has slammed it into a brick wall several times over. Meanwhile my arm, chest, and stomach were throbbing with pain. Every step I took was climax of jolting pain and the breaths of felt as if a knife were slicing in and out of my heart and lungs.

I held my left arm to my chest because when I tried to put it straight but the sting of pain was too great and replaced on my stomach. Even though I heal quickly I still walk with a limp. My right eye was still swollen, black, purple, and blue. I could barely see out if let alone feel it anymore right now.

Getting to my car I closed the door and muttered to myself, "Well that went better then expected…"  
><strong>….<strong>

Entering S.T.A.R labs I heard an angry Cisco cursing something related to a suit.

"No one gets away with blowing up my suit," I hear him say but then a few moments passed and, "Unless they look like that…"  
>"Hope they look better then I do," I muttered as I walked in black eye and all.<p>

Caitlin was the first one notice how damaged I was and walked as fast as she could in her black heels to me, "Oh my God, what the heck happened to you?"

She guided me to nearest bed and examined me without even asking, I guess she got over the fear of me retaliating or me being scared of her. Her soft hands barely grazed my hand but it was enough to send raging pain signaled me to pull away as I hissed from the hurt.

"Who did this to you?" She wondered concerned.

I gritted my teeth and leaned up and put my mouth to her ear and whispered my answer.

Caitlin's eyes widened as her mouth formed and 'O' shape as she tried to comprehend what I said. She looked towards Cisco and Dr. Wells, and made a clear sign for them to meet up and talk for a moment. As they did, Barry-who still hadn't completely forgiven me. Which I still don't know why he's mad at me in the first place really…sometimes I think he's bipolar because he can go from happy-to sad-to angry-to down right revengeful in less then a minute. Even I have given up on trying guessing his mood.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly.

"For what," I wondered, "all you did was react, besides there was nothing you could have done to prevent it."  
>As he sat down but didn't look at me, "Did you tell your parents?"<br>"Yeah…" I trailed not saying anymore.

"What did they say?"

_You're looking at it, _I thought to myself. This was their response to it.

This is why I was scared…this is why I never told anyone…because if I did-I don't think I would have made it past childhood. I wish I still hadn't told anyone…because right now my parents would still be able to look at me without a disgusted look in their eye. Right now I'd be able to go their hotel room and have a nice chat…but I made a promise…and I have to keep it.

"They weren't very happy to hear about it." I pointed out, "I think I'll have to keep my distance for a little while."  
>Oops…did I just say that out loud?<p>

"What-they just figured out their daughter died-why would they want you to stay away?"  
><em>Stupid, stupid, Sammie…why the hell did you say that? Now he's going to-oh my god I'm so stupid!<em> That's what was going through my head when I heard Barry say that. I can't believe I just said that! Oh my God…forget about my parents killing _me_, he's going to kill _them_.

Oh wait…this is Barry we're talking about…he can't hit me without feeling guilty about it…what am I worried about?

"My parents are complicated people." I informed.

Complicated isn't the word to describe them…it's more like stubborn. They refuse to believe that Layla is dead and doesn't get that she's gone-like **gone**-she is never coming back. No matter how much I try I can't get it though their thick heads that she is dead-they Layla isn't going to appear one day just out of the blue and pick up where we left off.

"Samantha," Harrison beckoned, "Can you explain this to me?"  
>I shrugged even though it was painful to so and looked at him as he rolled towards me, "Depends where do you want me to start?"<br>"Explain how this all started,"  
>My hand found its way to my pocket and gripped the purple flashdrive, I could show them…but I really don't want to. I should be selfish…I should be able to choose for myself and not tamper my decisions to be in accord with others.<p>

…but unfortunately life doesn't care what I think.

Taking it out I showed it to him reluctantly, "Watch this and you'll figure out the rest."  
>Nodding he took it from my hand and then went to go put it into the computer.<br>At that moment I regretted my choice, I wanted to take the flashdrive back and destroy it. I didn't want to see the contents of the drive again. Watching it once already was enough-watching it again is too much. I don't know need to how my sister died again…I was there-I know too much how she died. It's permanently seared into my memory-never to be forgotten.

When the video started I was thrown into a burning memory I hate to remember but never can seem to forget.

…**..**

I woke up in the dead of night-when mom and dad had both gone to sleep. The sky outside was dark and foggy, the thick grey mass blocked most of the full moon, and all of twinkling stars behind the wall of illuminating grey.

As I picked up my bag I opened my closet, there was a rope ladder from the unused playground in our backyard. Mom and dad never noticed-they hardly go out there anymore. Both of them are busy with work and stuff now…they never have time to spend time with me. Sometimes I think they work the late hours so that they don't have to see me.

But that won't matter anymore-because Layla and I are going to go to gran's house and live there for the rest of our lives. We'll take care of each other-we'll depend on each other…not those lousy doctors or our uncaring parents. We'll be fine…no more tests or loneliness. Layla and I-we'll have each to keep us company…and we'll be happy.

Climbing out of my window I glanced down and then back up. I never said goodbye…because if I did…they would have stopped me. So I said quietly, "Goodbye mom and dad."  
>From there I ran…I sprinted with joy.<p>

"Samantha," the new doctor said, "Are you sure you should be here-it's pretty late."  
>I nodded, "Dr. Port never has had a problem with it."<br>God I love it when they leave the newbie out to hang.

Brushing past him I grabbed his badge, and stuffed it into my pocket. Thankfully his didn't notice. As he walked away I peeked over my shoulder to make sure he was out of eye sight so that he couldn't stop me.

Speed walking to my destination I saw Layla's glass prison where she had been for over 7 years. She hadn't seen the sun in forever. Neither has she seen the glorious night or green grass-she hasn't been to normal school or been with normal people. Oh I can't wait to show her how much has changed since she has been here. Oh she's going to have so much fun!  
>Opening the door I turned on the light and whispered, "Layla-Layla,"<br>"Sammie," I heard her voice question, "Sammie is that really you?"

I nodded, "Yeah-come on! We only have like ten minutes until we get caught."  
>"Sam…you actually did come." My sister pointed out, "I thought you were only joking."<p>

"I always keep my promises Layla." I informed, "Even the ones that are the most outrageous-now come on-before we get caught!"  
>Layla smiled as she grasped my hand, "Better run fast then,"<br>**-**

Clueless

That's what we are clueless

We have no idea where we are going or which way the exit is. To be honest it all looks the same. Every hallway-every corridor and door looked the same. There was no variation to anything and there were no signs or arrows to tell us even where anything was.

"Are you sure you know where you're going?" I wondered as I followed her lead.

"The exit has to be near here." Layla pointed out as she looked around worried.

Then bright red lights and loud sirens screamed in our ears. At that moment I felt my sister squeeze my hand as tightly as she could as she sprinted through the halls quicker then she ever has before. I could barely keep up with her speed and begged her to slow down. But she ignored me and went even faster.

Several times both of my feet left the floor and stumbled over each other.

What was she so scared of? Why is she panicking?

"L-ayla," I said as she almost pulled my arm out of it's socket, "What are you doing?"  
>Footsteps echoed all around us, their sounds reverberated off the walls making us unsure of where they were actually coming from.<p>

Next…for some reason-Layla stopped and looked at the floor as she tried to catch her breath. She knelt down and looked at me with her caramel colored eyes, but I didn't know what she trying to do. Her soft, warm pale hand brushed up against my cheek to push back my long, messy behead black hair, "Layla-you have to be brave."  
>I cocked my head, "What do you mean Layla-we have to get out of here."<p>

She gave me a sad smile, "Sammie…one of us isn't going to get out of here."  
>"W-what…" I wondered as I shook my head and clutched the grip of my backpack, "N-no…we're going to get out of here together-"<p>

Layla gave shook her head as she place her hands on my shoulders, "No Sammie…this is the end for one of us."  
>Tears ran down my face, "Layla-no we're going to get out of here. W-we're going to go to g-gran's house…we're going to-"<p>

My sister warm hand cupped my wet cheek as I saw that she also was on the verge of tears, "No Sammie…you're going home-to mom and dad and you're going to live with them. You're going to live full normal life-have normal friends, you're going to go to school and have a life. You're going to get a job, get married, and have beautiful kids."  
>"Not without you Layla." I cried, "I can't-"<p>

She interrupted me again, "Yes you are. You're going to do it-do it for me."  
>"NO," I sobbed, "You're going to live. You're going to-you have to."<br>I felt my heart started to break as my throat became raw with emotion. The knife of depression sliced through my soul as I felt every hope diminish into a deep dark abyss. _She can't leave…she has to come with me…I can't live without her_.

The footsteps became clearer and clearer as they came closer.

"Live for me." Layla ordered, "You have to do that. Live and do everything that I couldn't dream of going. Sammie-you have to do that for me."  
>Reluctantly I nodded, "I promise."<p>

"I love you," she said.  
>Finally as if an order was said that I couldn't hear-a gun was locked and loaded. I heard a loud bang echo through out the halls. It was so deafening that for a moment I couldn't even listen to alarms blare.<p>

The moment felt like forever. It felt like an eternity. It was forever. It was a never ending.

Looking at Layla I saw her face go from loving and caring to shocked and unknowing. She looked down at her chest and then back at me. Already on her knees she tried to fall sideways, but I wouldn't let her. My hands led her to my lap and from there I saw everything that had happened.

A thick red liquid was pouring out of her chest. It poured out on my lap and my arms, "Layla,"

Her chest moved up and down frantically trying to get oxygen into her system but it was failing. It was failing miserably

"Layla," I cried softly as I brushed her long oak wood hair out of her face, "Layla…please say something…please."  
>Her liquid caramel eyes looked at me as she sputtered her words out, "Not-…n-ot you-r fau..lt,"<p>

"Yes it is," I rejected, "I should have never came. It was a stupid-"

"No," Layla coughed as scarlet blood leaked from the corner of her mouth, "T-thanks…to-you…I-I'm-fin..ally free."  
>"Layla…don't leave me alone."<br>"N-never al..one."

Layla smiled a bloody smile, "Goodbye Samantha."  
>"N-no," I ordered, "Layla-please you can't…you can't leave me."<p>

But to no avail her eyes drooped, her body became stiff, and every life sign was gone. Her spark of spirit was snuffed out. Her soul would stolen by death. My sister's spirit was claimed by the heavens and brought her essence to the peaceful place where it deserved to be. I bet she was with Robert. I bet she was finally happy.

But there is one thing I know for sure.

Layla was finally free.

…**..**

"Sammie," Barry said he snapped his fingers in front of my face, "Sammie are you ok?"  
>Breaking out of my daze I wiped my tears from my face, "Fine-I'm fine."<br>So not fine.

The exact opposite of fine,

I am terrible…absolutely horrible.

"Where was that?" Wells wondered, "Why were you trying to run away. Who was that man at the beginning of the video."  
>"You're asking questions Harrison." I said, "But you're asking all the wrong ones."<br>Grabbing the purple flashdrive I started to walk out, "Call me when you start saying the right ones."  
><strong>OOOOOOOOOO<strong>

Chess

A game of strategy and war,

A match begins with two equal sides; both have the same amount of pieces, spots, and chances to win.  
>The war begins with the first move of the white piece. Then the black as a return moves to block the white soldier and him out. Next as the time passed like grains of sand in a bottle there are only few members left of each team.<p>

The kings and the queens are now staring at each other, debating on how to strike their enemies. Look-there she goes the daring white queen to seek her revenge for her fallen army. She slides across the slick white and black to face her rival in a bloody battle of the ages.

The black queen glares at her as she looks to her arsenal of wounded soldiers-all too exhausted to take on the fresh and clean queen of the white side. So there the queens fight-the last stand of the war. There they stand to have quench their thirst of ever lying victory.

One shall stand victorious

One shall sleep in the ground among the worms and corpses.

"Checkmate," I said as I took Roy's queen.

He sighed as he sat bored in his seat, "That was quick."  
>"I've had my practice over the years." I informed as I looked at the glossy black marble piece.<p>

My therapist introduced the game to me once he knew he couldn't ask the answers out of me. He always said that you can truly figure out someone's character just by playing chess with them. I didn't really know what he was talking about till now.

Placing the board back inside my bag Roy looked at me weirdly, "You put that in there?"

I shrugged, "I know M.E's who put way weirder, trust me."

"Is that make-up?" He wondered, "And is that a gun?"

"Girl has to have her tricks doesn't she?" I smiled.

Looking at Roy sadness lingered in his gaze, mixed in it there was a thirst for revenge and anger that swirled around. Every time I stopped talking he'd going to into this daze of just mourning. It was quite really…is this what I looked like when Layla died? Is this what mom and dad saw everyday? Is this how everyone saw me?

I remember going into those dazes and replying those events in my mind over and over again. I'd do it when I was in the shower, bored at school, trying to annoy my parents. I guess this is what it looked like from the other side of the story.

Suddenly I didn't have control on my hands, they went to hold his. His callus-yet smooth hands that held that red bow and put on that deep scarlet leather jacket. I felt his pain and agony. I felt his mourning and anger. I've been there and I know how it feels. I know how it burns and scars you.

"I know saying sorry doesn't make anything better." I pointed out, "But I am sorry about Sara,"  
>Roy clenched his teeth as he started to breathe more deeply to prevent himself from crying. I saw his eyes redden at the mention of her name. Clear salty tears formed on the edge, as he held in his breathe to prevent any drop from falling. But to no avail they fell down his face slowly, and only a few escaped to his cheeks before all crying was erased from his face.<p>

My thumb cascaded over his cheeks, wiping away all signs of sadness and mourning, "You don't have to lie to me. I know more then anyone how much it hurts to loose someone."  
>"How," he breathed.<p>

"My sister died when I was eight." I informed.

What I forgot to add was that my parents never knew about it…till now of course-but that's neither here nor there.

"And all everyone ever said to me was I'm sorry." I stated, "And to be honest those did more damage then her not being there."

Roy didn't reply but he just sat there as he repeated this conversation in his head.

I looked around at the empty base. It was just him and I there. Alone and still in mourning,

"Wanna get out of here?" I wondered.

He shrugged.

I'll take that as a yes.

**ZZZZZZZZZZZ**

The time seemed to blur. There are no more boring hours when Roy and I were together. Without even realizing it the sun was down and it was the time was 1:32am.

I chuckled as I looked at Roy who was still wide awake like me sipping his mug of beer. "Is it already tomorrow?"  
>Drunkenly he replied, "Well…technically it's today is tomorrow-tomorrow isn't till tomorrow."<p>

I laughed, "Wow…time flew."

The bitter alcohol reached my lips but I didn't let it go on to my tongue. I didn't let myself swallow it. Because every time I attempt to do it I see my parents going all into out rage. I see them throwing their glasses on to the floor and screaming at each other. I feel the sting of their slaps of misplaced anger. So every time I place it near my face I hold my breath, because for several years all my house smelt like was cheep beer, liquor, and bourbon. Sometimes I accidentally would drink the vodka because it looked so much like water.

"What are you talking about?" He wondered as he swayed in his chair slightly, "You've been drinking the same beer for the past three hours."  
>I shrugged as I took a fake sip of my drink, "Just got watered down after awhile."<br>"Then buy another one." Roy said as he waved down the bar tender.

She looked at me but I didn't have to say anything. The woman nodded and looked over her shoulder, "We'll be closing down in an hour or so-you guys should get going."  
>Roy gave a sigh of disappointed as he took the last gulp of his beer and shook off the brunt of the hit that it gave him. He fumbled for his wallet but as soon as he got it, it fell from his hands like butter.<p>

I chuckled as I picked it up for him, "I'll pay for it-just sit down-kay?"

Without reply he did as plopped himself on the stool again.  
>I turned to the bar tender and plucked out several bills of varying expense. She took them from my hand and counted the green paper money. Her eyes grew in size as she looked at me, "Ma'am…"<p>

"Don't worry-keep the change. Think of it as a tip." I smiled as I went over to Roy.

The man looked like he was about to pass out at this point. I guess the adrenaline in his system had gone back to normal. Now he was tired and has gone back to being human.

He stumbled carelessly. I chuckled as I took his arm and wrapped his arm around my neck, glancing over him for once I saw a happy, unburdened face. I saw a smile that went from cheek to cheek, a smile that reached his eyes. They were so beautiful that way. Full of life, excitement, and just pure happiness,

If only everyone eye's stayed that way.

…**..**

The smell of Eggs and bacon diffused its way through my apartment. It made the morning the little brightener and pleasant. It placed a smile on my face. I barely remember when my mom would make our family a huge breakfast feast. There'd be eggs, toast, pancakes, croissants, waffles, muffins, everything you can think of. I'd be in the high chair eating some simplified version of it, Robert and Layla would sit on opposite sides of the table and so would mom and dad. I'd be at one of the ends swinging my legs carelessly. Food would be smeared on my small mouth and hands…then my parents would kiss my head and sit clean my face. Once Layla and Robert had to go to school they'd say to goodbye and ruffle the sparse and growing hair on my delicate head…that was the very first memory I had of them.

After that…it was just another meal to the day. That table was just a place we sat at and ate. Everything was like that after while…

"Ah…what the-where the hell am I?" I heard Roy mutter as he got up from my couch.

"On my couch," I said from the kitchen doorway, "It's half past 7."  
>The man had a shocked and regretful look on his face as he placed his head on his face shamefully. He began to say his apologizes but I stopped him, "Don't worry-I didn't do anything. You didn't do anything-in fact you passed out as soon as you got in the car-had to carry you inside."<br>Roy tried to move but a sudden pain stopped him and he sat back down. He hissed in agony as he gripped his head, "Yeah…I wouldn't recommend moving…but I have to go to work-you are welcomed to stay here. Food is in the kitchen-bathroom is second door on your left, and there's a large pot at your feet just incase anything decides to make a surprise rewind-bye."

**...**

Is it bad that I just left a guy that I barely knew in my apartment? Like I know that he's hung over and stuff…but should I have actually stayed and helped him? Maybe I should have brought him with me…or like left a phone with him. Maybe I should have been a little less trusting?

Oh well…can't go back now.

Walking into S.T.A.R labs the tiny voice that shouted for me to go away didn't come as I thought it would. I got so used to ignoring it and forcing it to go away. I'm so used to it being there and screaming at me to run away at the look of anyone with 'Doctor' in their title. Now its just…gone…silent. The voice is no longer there. It doesn't warn me of danger or fear. It's weird almost…not having it around.

"Hey," I greeted everyone, "Anything happen while I was gone."  
>Cisco had a guilty look on his face as he glanced away from view. Barry bit his lip as his angered face went away from me. Caitlin sighed and she studied her computer even more. Doctor Wells gritted his teeth and was the one only to be able to bear eyes on me. He gave a heavy sigh before losing eye contact with me.<p>

Great…what did Barry do this time?  
>"Cisco," I said.<p>

He looked up from his computer like a little boy scared of being yelled at by a teacher, "Y-yeah…"  
>"What happened?" I wondered.<p>

"W-well I…I kinda made an Ice Gun in order to s-stop Barry if he-you know…" he started, "and a guy stole it…and now he can stop Barry."

Seriously…this is what their angry about? Oh my God-what has this world come to? I turned Barry, "Are you kidding me? You're mad about that? What are we children?"

He stepped towards me with anger in his eyes, "He could have told me! He should have at least said he didn't trust me!"

"Barry," I started, "That was over 9 months ago! He was preparing for the worst possible case scenario! It isn't Cisco's fault that he didn't know you back then!"

"He should have known!" He barked back, "he should have known-'

"But he didn't," I shouted raising my voice to match his, "nobody just welcomes a stranger without backup plans Barry!"

"If he didn't trust me-why didn't tell me about it!" Barry demanded.

"Because Barry you'd react like this!" I yelled, "You're acting like a little kid!"

"What about you?" He pointed out, "You we're being a little kid when you told no one about Layla."

For one moment I let all the rage out that I held in. I let out all the rage I had held against Barry and all of his stupid antics. For one second all I saw was red. Scarlet red, that blocked me from seeing what I was doing.  
>I felt my hand come in contact with a fleshy object, I felt my bones and skin reject the movement as soon as I hit it. Pain coursed through my wrist and along my hand and fingers. At first I felt accomplish and complete…I felt like Karma finally caught up with Barry. But then <em>my <em>cheek began throbbing, I held my face as I hissed in pain, "Oh that was an atrociously bad idea…where did I think that was a good idea to do that. How did I forget about that?"  
>"Forget about what?" Barry wondered in an annoyed tone as he repeated my actions.<p>

"That I feel your pain." I pointed out, "God it's annoying."

The flame of his throbbing cheek was instilled into mine. It coursed through my nerves alerting me of what I had done. Instantly I regretted my choice of action. Mainly because I was stupid enough to not remember that Barry pain was one in my own.  
>Barry looked at me, face contorted with pain, confusion, and shock. Holding his cheek he asked, "What,"<br>I hissed as I held my hand, "Ow-geez Barry why do you have such a hard face?"  
>"No wait-what did you say?" He repeated.<p>

"Do I have to say it again idiot?" I wondered, "It's your fault if you weren't paying attention."  
>"You can feel my pain?" Barry said almost with a lop sided smile.<p>

"Yeah," I murmered, "Every since that lightning struck I've been the one on the receiving end of your hero antics."

At those words I heard Cisco lighten up a bit, he took in a large amount of air before relasing it and chuckling, "Oh-that is so cool!"

He wouldn't be saying that if he had to feel Barry's pain.  
>Being in that position is like your body is one place but your mind is floating adrift somewhere in the middle of no where. You can feel the pain of the other person strike your body even though it doesn't belong there. Your mind is aware that this isn't your pain but it gives it to you anyway. Letting you feel the misery of it all-letting the throbbing ache course throughout un-pierced skin. Even though you try and block out the connection you can't help be sucked into it and let it take you with the drift of the tide. Finally after it crashes you on the shore several times it lets you go to spit out the sand and recover from sand burns.<p>

Think of it like drowning…but you're still on land and you're sitting down waiting for a computer screen to load.

"Something like that…" I muttered.

"I need to run some tests." Caitlin informed as she took my hand and started leading me somewhere.

"O-k," I said without even room to disagree or pull away.

As Dr. Snow led me I passed a familiar blonde head walked by us. I knew she had seen us too because she stopped and look behind her shoulder to make sure that it was me she was seeing. Even though I wanted to greet her-I don't think we should. Felicity didn't make any signs for me to rush to her and say hello-in fact after a moment or so she continued walking.

…I guess our 'secret' relationship between us has to say on the 'down low'. Why? Don't ask me…I lie whether I want to or not. It's just what I had to grow up doing. Because some lies aren't as bad as the truth they mislead.

"How long have you been feeling his pain?" Caitlin wondered.

I shrugged, "Ever since we woke up from the coma,"

"What have you felt?"

"Almost passed out one day while I was work," I informed, "Then one day I woke up in the middle night because I felt myself being pounded into the ground. Last night I almost crashed my car because I felt my whole body being encased in ice."

Yep-that was terrifying for almost two minutes I couldn't control my arms or legs. So everyone around me thought I was drunk-even though I couldn't get drunk to save my life. Stupid metabolism,

"Do you know if Barry can feel your pain?" She questioned.

I shook my head, "Nope- he wouldn't have felt it by now."

He would have been crying if he had felt my physical pain. We'd both be on the floor crawled into a little ball crying into our arms because we would be in so much pain.

"Are you sure?" Caitlin repeated.

"Did you see me yesterday?" I pointed out.

She opened her mouth to say something but closed it, "You're right-lets run some tests."  
><strong>OOOOOOOOOOO<strong>

Barry and I sat at the café that Iris worked at. We drank coffee, ate snacks, and talked. Barry kept glancing up and down at me. A guilt ridden sign showed in his but a spark of amusement flared behind the blue crystals too. I had opened to say something but closed it- I didn't need to say anything. All I had to do was sip my cup and admire the view.

I heard the door open and didn't think much of it. I thought it was just another customer wanting a mid-day snack like the rest of us. At least I think that's what all of us were here for. But little did I know that my fury ridden parents had entered. Their angry steps echoed in the shop as they stormed to me.

Dad's large hands placed themselves on my shoulders and gripped them until I could not feel my own arms anymore. With all of strength my father could muster he threw me against to the floor.

My whole childhood flashed before my eyes before I turn over to face my parents. When I did I could barely spit out hello or hi. Fear spread through me. All I wanted to do was run away and never look back. I wanted to punch my father and show him all the fury that I had with him.

But I couldn't…I didn't want to hurt my parents. I had already lost everything that I loved…I couldn't become the monster they were. I have to be the better person. I need to be the responsible person that they couldn't be.

"I-I'm s-sorry." I stammered.

I could see the furor in his eyes as he clenched the fabric of my shirt.

"HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME SHE WAS DEAD?" Dad screamed.

"I have my reasons." I stated before I was slammed into the ground again.

"You could have said something!" He yelled, "You could have done something!"  
>His words surprised me; mom and dad back then weren't ready to have their hearts broken all over again. Dad took a paid leave from work for about a month to mourn. Even after that he still wasn't ready to face the world. He had to be buzzed to go to work and painkillers that could reach help his headache…but it never was able to ease the pain in his chest. They didn't reach his darkened soul. None of the things made him feel alive again…they couldn't revive his dead heart.<p>

"You weren't ready." I said as I was picked up and pushed to the edge of the cashier's table.

Several gasps escaped the people around us as everyone froze in fear of the events occurring. Iris looked at me scared as she held a pot of coffee in her hand. I could see it shake, but that was the last thing I saw before I was flipped to face my fuming father. He gritted his stained teeth trying to control it but was obviously failing to keep it under raps.

"Yes-"

"No you weren't." I interrupted, "I kept it from you because I was-"

Before I could finish my I felt my tender cheek throb with pain. At first I was in awe of what happened. It had been so long since my father had lost his temper with me. It had been so long since I had actually felt this sort of pain directly.  
>…but it still made me timid to talk. The action still made me question everything I had done. But even back then I never let him see that I was weak-I never let him know he makes me feel that way.<p>

Time to grin and bare it once more…

"I was scared to tell you." I said, "I was scared to tell you because I knew you'd react like this…like before."

He didn't reply but merely growled instead. The pressure he was forcing on me started to hurt, the edging of the table started to dig into my skin as we stared at each other. Dad always hated my calm and unnerved face. That's why he did what he did…he wanted to see me grieve just like him. He wanted me to show my pain and express it like he was so clearly doing.

I have broken down before…but he's never see it before.

Suddenly the door opened with urgent concern, "Put your hands up!"  
><em>Joe?<br>_ "Take your hands off her," he repeated as other officers.

Reluctantly he obeyed as he stepped away; Joe clipped dad's hand together with his metal handcuffs. My father didn't even look at me when he left or was in the squad car. His gaze never came to me, and he didn't show regret or remorse for his actions. I wish I could blame him…I really do…but it's not his fault-I'm the one who kept the secrets. Not him.

"Are you alright?" Barry wondered as he examined me.

I shrugged, "Not the worst day between me and him, believe it or not."

Barry's concerned eyes scanned me again as he clenched his jaw and looked over at the squad car leaving. "I'm sorry."  
>"For what,"<p>

"Not helping you." He said, "I should have done something-I could have-"

"Barry," I cut off, "trust me, none of this was your fault. It was mine for not telling him. If I was smart I would have told them a long time ago."

The hero looked away from me as he bit his lip, "I have to get to S.T.A.R labs."

"Have fun saving the world-be sure to wear a coat. Wouldn't want to get a cold now would we?"

**ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ**

I was back at the Arrow Cave once more. To be honest I don't know why I spend my time here.

Could it be that I have started to feel more attached to this place then S.T.A.R labs? Or I'm not treated like a lost cause or like I'm about to break into a million pieces. Or could it be simply that the company is just more enjoyable?

"Hello Sammie," Diggle greeted.

"Hey," I smiled back, "having fun yet?"

He shrugged as Oliver walked in, "Diggle where is Roy?"

"I don't know." John stated, "Hasn't been answering his phone."

"He's hung-over," I informed, "currently he's sleeping on my couch…probably."

Roy hadn't called me or anything. For all I know he's back already-geez I'm horrible friend for not checking up on him aren't I? I should've called him or gone back to make sure he hasn't completely destroyed my home yet.

"Why is he in your house?" Oliver wondered.

"Well we go bored and just went, saw a movie, got ice cream, and then went to have a couple drinks." I shrugged as if it were no big deal, "I didn't have any though-so after about 1am we left and I let him sleep."

I think that is the first time I haven't lied today.

"Wait-you two-"

"No-nothing happened Oliver." I dismissed, "Besides what's the big deal? Can't people just go out and have some fun? It's not like the world was ending or anything."

I don't see the problem. We both just needed a night to forget the whole world was on our shoulders. Roy needed to get Sara off his mind and I needed to get Layla off mine-so I guess it was a fair trade? We had a good time, had some good laughs, and I guess we became closer as friends. He didn't seem to mind. We both needed a distraction-no matter how small it was.

"Roy is my partner." Oliver pointed out, "Felicity has gone to visit Barry and Diggle has a kid to take care of! I can't take care of all Starling by myself."

I shrugged, "You're not alone. You still have me."

He chuckled, "You,"

"I'm not as helpless as you think." I stated, "I can-"

Suddenly I felt a cold chill blow through me. Ice started to form in my veins as my breath made the air fog. My limbs were too stiff with a brisk icy feeling. The feeling caught me off guard, I stood there frozen not knowing what to as the numbness set in. All of my thoughts blurred together as the world around me began to fade into a different set of scenery.

Around me was a train yard, on my body was frozen water that prohibited me from moving. A man pointed a gun at me. He threatened to shoot me before I could react I was back at the Arrow Cave.

All I could think was, _that was weird. _

Then once my mind became clear from the ice and snow I finally understood what was going on…Barry was in trouble once again.

"What an idiot?" I muttered, "Always got to be the hero don't I?"  
>"What," Oliver wondered.<p>

"Hey-I'm going to borrow this real quick-don't worry I'll give it back." I informed as I took Roy's vigilante outfit and bow.

Using my lightning like speed to get here, I used it to leave before they could stop or question where I was going and what I was doing. Because answering questions isn't exactly my best quality,

They'll understand when I get back…I hope.

…**..**

My first instinct was to kill the bastard pointing the gun at Barry's head. I wanted to shoot him with the arrow without a second though. I thought that if I got it done quickly it would let me escape the consequences.  
>But I knew Barry would hate me for doing it. Sure I had good intentions going in but letting my feelings guide me is a horrible idea. Letting my hatred set my path isn't being a hero-it's being a villain. I have to get a grip. I have to be in control…purpose first-emotions last.<p>

"Come an inch closer and I send this arrow through your heart." I warned as I increased the stress on my-Roy's- bow.

My eyes never left him. I analyzed every movement and eye glare. I saw what he was trying to do and I didn't have any self control he'd be on the floor bleeding to death.

"Put the ray down," I ordered but kept my voice hidden, I lowered it and did this thing with my vocal cords making them go really fast-I just learned it. I never knew how many cool things I could do with my speed! Let's just say I've had a lot of fun passing the time, "do anything stupid and you won't live to see tomorrow."  
>Barry looked at me surprised. His lower body was still encased with ice while he laid their immobilized. I gritted my teeth as I looked at the man as he made a subtle glance at me. The sight of him disgusted me. If I didn't have anything to lose I would shove this metal arrow into his eye. I wonder if he even knows what he is doing. Did he think this plan through? I hope he knew this is how it would end.<p>

The man's pressure on the trigger didn't cease but his posture tightened slightly.

"Listen to him," a familiar, "Before we freeze you to death."

The voice was slightly shaken, but tried to be authoritative but was more of a nerd trying to stand up to a big bully. But I knew who it was and it was another nerd…for Christ sake who isn't here?

The man chuckled, "I don't believe you."

Nobody replied.

"None of you will kill me." He pointed out as if he knew everything, "You don't have the courage."

"You're going to be your life on that?" I wondered.

"I will." He stated with hubris, "Both of you can't-you're too scared,"

I laughed at the comment, "The only person I'm scared for is iced boy down there. You-you're the coward here."

This went back and forth as we tried to intimidate each other.

Finally after Cisco mastered the situation in his favor the suspect gave in. Wow…now I can respect the man. But-why is he even here? Did Harrison accept this? What on earth made him want to risk his life on the line like that?

_You mean like you did? _

Well…we both do care deeply for Barry. I'd sacrifice myself for him. I'd save him over anyone. He's my everything…to see him hurt, hurts me. All I want for him is to be safe and if that means I have to dress up as this character and do it myself…I'll do it.

I'd do it over and over again.

**Hello again, so I hope you liked it. Next chapter I'm going to get into Sammie's crush on Barry. Hopefully I'll finish it around Christmas or New Years. Anyway-I will see you next time and Happy Holiday's to everyone. So yeah-stay awesome my friends-cupcakekiller12**


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